I never thought I would say this but here it goes.

Fear is bigger than grief.

It is bigger than tragedy.












I am sorry to break this to you, but holding on to our story has nothing to do with sadness and loss.

It has nothing to do with what terrible things have happened to us.

But it has everything to do with being afraid to live again.

Afraid to trust again.

Afraid to let go of the comfort of grief’s waiting room.

The safe place where we live in the story of loss.

If we hold on to the story,

to the tragedy, to the abandonment we get excused from living the life we were meant to have.

Sorry to tell you this.

But it is an easy way out.

An easy way to say no to going on a date, changing careers, taking risks, and re-entering life.

I don’t blame you. I did the same. I was the widow, the single parent, the person with no help.

You see you are not sad.

You are just scared.

You are not grieving you are just waiting.

Waiting for what?

An easier day?


The Lottery?

The prince on the white horse to come rescue you out of the waiting room?


So here is what I know for sure.

Luck finds you when you break that lock on the door and step outside.

The Lottery shows up through new people you get to meet when you venture in to the world.



And the Prince with his white horse does not gallop inside the waiting room, he is out in the woods enjoying the fresh air and life. Sadness is real I get it.

I know it.

I have experienced it.

But when does it go from sadness to fear?

Are you fully aware of that moment?

Is it possible that what keeps you inside is not your grief but your paralyzing fear of losing again?

Just saying.

With freedom,



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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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  • rita says:

    Thank you for asking.
    I fear all you have mentioned above. Lack of TRUST towards others and loss are some of the main issues I have been copying with so far. In addition, I’m tired of being criticized for things I have done or have not done. Overall, I have been HURT enough. So, I learned that rather than advice what works better is encouragement and kindness.
    Kind regards.

  • Shara says:

    A post that speaks to my heart and my experience. Thank you.

  • Aurora says:

    Hadn’t thought along this line before, very profound, thank you. It resonates truth to me, but it mught have been hard for me to accept early on. I love your line about the prince out in the fresh air, enjoying life…absolutely delightful!

  • Sihle says:

    I may not be waiting for a princess in a gown and ball but I do fear the unknown. I’ve been left for dead. Twice in row I’ve had to endure criticism and whispers behind behind my back. God had other plans. I’ve survived. It time to pick up the pieces. It’s my time to shine now. Stopping is not an option. I guess it was written that I had to endure this. I’m glad I’ve lived to tell the tale.

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