Getting Lost Is Necessary for Miracles to Happen

In a few days Second Firsts will be 5 years old. I vividly remember the night I came up with the name. It was 2:00am. I was crying. I was defeated. It had been 18 months after my husband died with two babies sleeping in the next room and the words just landed on me. Second Firsts. In that moment there was an interruption of grief and a glimmer of hope for something greater. I had to come…

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0 Comments6 Minutes

Nothing but the truth.

I just wish we had someone tell us the truth every day. The truth.  Not what we want to hear... but the way things are. I think we would grow up faster. We would be less naive. We would be less heart broken. Since we would know the truth from the beginning. We would waste less time.  It would be hard at first but we would be able to change direction earlier on. We would have a better chance at…

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10 Comments4 Minutes

The Roommate.

It took me 4 years of helping others get out of The Waiting Room, and discover that the place we go and hide from life had another roommate.   The new roommate hid in plain sight.  Dressed nicely. And paid the bills. He even told us that we were great, responsible and able to make our dreams come true. We believed him.  He was our only supporter and reward.  Our only cheerleader.  His name was…

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4 Comments4 Minutes

Dear Death. I never liked you.

Dear death, You come and knock on the door of some amazing people. You take them in the night, in cars, in hospital rooms and in every possible way imagined. I never liked you.  You have taken so many people I love. And you take them forever and ever. You don’t take them for a little while and then bring them back. You take them.  Period. When my husband died you gave me three and a half years to…

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22 Comments4 Minutes

Cancel your errands.

If you could see me I would be waving my arms up in the air. If you could hear my voice, it would be loud. This message today I want you to hear loud and clear. You are afraid of life.  I am afraid of life. We are afraid of life.  We are fearful of being out there. We are terrified of adventures.  We want our day to match our day before. No surprises. No unexpected things happening. Just a good…

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2 Comments5 Minutes

You are special. You are special.

You are perfect. So very perfect. You have such beauty inside of you. How do I know? I know because you have been through so much. When I look at myself in the mirror I see the depths that I have travelled the losses that I experienced. I remember falling down on my knees, and staying there for so long.  I remember getting back up and looking as if I had gone to battle the night before, but I was…

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0 Comments5 Minutes

You are not here to sleep!

In the last 4 weeks I have travelled to many cities. Loved many people. Heard many stories. Hugged many souls. But I have discovered that we seek safety and routine before we seek life. We seek numbness before we seek vibrancy and excitement. We seek dullness before we seek adventure. When we hurt so much we want to end that pain. And we don't want to end it with LIFE. But with comfort. Why is…

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3 Comments4 Minutes

Dare to be untraditional, in a traditional world.

You are not crazy, bitter or angry. This is the hardest time of the year for all of us who have lost a loved one either through death or divorce. We want to press fast forward and skip the holiday season all together. But unfortunately this is not possible. So I decided to write you this letter and help you shake things up a little. When there is happiness all around us and deep sadness inside of…

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10 Comments10 Minutes

Yes. I still believe in Fairy Tales.

I still believe in fairy tales. Yes you read right. Yep. I believe in love. I believe in dreams. I believe in miracles. I believe in laughter after tragedy. I believe in eternity. In heaven. In friendships. In human kindness. In spirit. In connection. I have seen so many… many miracles happen after tragic… tragic losses. I have seen so much beauty after hardship. So much light in the darkness.…

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7 Comments5 Minutes

Tango Warrior

I often wondered about the word warrior. How do we become one? How do we go from being in pain, broken hearted to having  strength and the ability to do something that was told to you as impossible. When do we go from weakened to warrior like? Is there a time and a place that we shed our old identity and dress up in our new one? Or does it happen slowly. Subconsciously. Without anyone even…

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0 Comments5 Minutes