I was 18 when my first girlfriend killed herself - she was also 18. There’s always something very strange about suicide. It’s very traumatic because you can never really override that feeling of someone else can do it. That has trapped me before. I remember I was so mad at myself for not being able to save her life that I threw my bed lamp across the room in frustration the night I found out. And…

Read More

0 Comments7 Minutes

Living With Trauma

Many days I wake up with a lot of anxiety. I keep re-living that day, the day I found him. When we broke in, he was in bed. He lived in a studio apartment, so he only had to turn his head to see who was at the door. He saw me but turned around again. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I felt almost like I had bothered his sleep. I approached him anyway, asked him if he was okay. He tried to say…

Read More

0 Comments9 Minutes

Every Loss Is Significant

Grief is so competitive. When I first started doing this work and started to share my own losses the people with ‘bigger’ tragedies than mine would send me a lot of hate mail. As if I should not be trying to help them. As if I should not be teaching them how their brain could help them come back to life. That I should be ashamed of the fact that I truly believed they could benefit from me. The…

Read More

4 Comments7 Minutes

I Am Not Going to Write About Robin Williams

I am not going to add to the conversations everyone is having about suicide and depression. I could talk about it, but that will not help me talk about joy and happiness. I am so very sad about Robin Williams just like everyone else, but if he was dictating my words he would want you to discover laughter, joy and happiness. He would shake his head to all the blogs that brought so much darkness.…

Read More

8 Comments5 Minutes

Brilliance in Dark Places

I am here in this beautiful place of peace and calm. This, despite the fact that just weeks ago my husband unexpectedly lost his job of twenty seven years. The major part of our income -- gone in the blink of an eye. Of course, when he told me, I was shocked. However, instead of falling headfirst into a downward spiral of panic, I felt a deep sense of calm. It was as if I was surrounded by a…

Read More

4 Comments8 Minutes

Say Something World

Dear world of politics, wars, corruption, hate, violence, and crime, I have had it with you. The more of you I see, the less I like. The more years I am alive, the more corruption I see. The more breaths I take the more crime and prejudice I find. Say something I am giving up on you.  Say something. You have my head spinning. You have my heart screaming. You undo all the work we do. You multiply…

Read More

4 Comments4 Minutes

Nothing but the truth.

I just wish we had someone tell us the truth every day. The truth.  Not what we want to hear... but the way things are. I think we would grow up faster. We would be less naive. We would be less heart broken. Since we would know the truth from the beginning. We would waste less time.  It would be hard at first but we would be able to change direction earlier on. We would have a better chance at…

Read More

10 Comments4 Minutes

Cancel your errands.

If you could see me I would be waving my arms up in the air. If you could hear my voice, it would be loud. This message today I want you to hear loud and clear. You are afraid of life.  I am afraid of life. We are afraid of life.  We are fearful of being out there. We are terrified of adventures.  We want our day to match our day before. No surprises. No unexpected things happening. Just a good…

Read More

2 Comments5 Minutes

Dare to be untraditional, in a traditional world.

You are not crazy, bitter or angry. This is the hardest time of the year for all of us who have lost a loved one either through death or divorce. We want to press fast forward and skip the holiday season all together. But unfortunately this is not possible. So I decided to write you this letter and help you shake things up a little. When there is happiness all around us and deep sadness inside of…

Read More

10 Comments10 Minutes

Dear God…

As I was getting ready to write you this Message in a Bottle… I started writing a letter to God/Universe/Divine Power. And what happened surprised me. I nearly did not publish this letter. But I think I did not receive these answers for myself. So think of me crazy if you must…but if some people get helped from this. It would be so worth it. So here it goes: Dear God, It is so hard to see so many…

Read More

4 Comments4 Minutes