You are Here to Love Many Times

I know you feel alone. I know you ask the question will I ever love again? Our lives after loss can almost feel foreign. We got stripped away from all that made us who we are. And we go home every night alone. The lights are off. The house unchanged. You can’t escape what happened here. You travel back to the loss and forward to what can no longer be. A lonely time traveler. But it is not…

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Have a Meaningful Thanksgiving

I find daily life that is made of anything but meaning, pointless. Books that deal with drama, uninteresting. Gatherings that have superficial conversations, waste of time. And at this juncture I always add, especially for those of us who have endured loss. The time we spend in the nothingness of routine can actually put us in depression. Maybe one of the reasons the holiday season is hard for…

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Beyond Here

Forgive me for lately, I have been seeking the unseekable. The unseen. The very hard to find. Seeking the answers to the bigger questions. Sometimes I get mad with the world. How dare we not ask these questions. How dare we close our eyes and go to sleep without wanting to know. Why are we made this way? Who made us? Where were we before we were here? And where the heck are we going…

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Writing from the Roller Coaster

Maybe I will stay inside the ups and downs. The highs and lows. After all, the roller coaster makes you a good writer. Did you know? It makes you brave. It makes your hair look crazy too. :) Your heart beats as if there are two hearts inside of you. You don’t have time for any kind of small talk. And you hold on tight. No drama. Just lots of back and forth between low and high. Between…

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Don’t Get on the Anniversary Train

I have been writing to you for many years and I have never written about what to do with the anniversaries of loss. A wonderful woman reached out to me yesterday and asked me if I would write about this. So here it goes. Anniversaries of loss feel like a big train approaching the platform. Heavy, noisy. Old. Loud. And you can hear it coming for a while. You know it’s arriving at a specific time,…

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0 Comments6 Minutes

You are NOT late to the Party

I moved from Greece to England when I was 18 years old. My english was ok but certainly not fluent in writing or speaking. And I was attempting to get into college. It took me three years to pass the exams and get language fluency. And because of that everyone else in my classes, in my dorms and in my everyday college experience were 3 years younger than me. I used to hide my age. When…

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What if they can hear you?

What if you can talk to your child. Your husband. Your wife. Your father. Your mother. Your friend, even after their passing. What if that’s what we are supposed to do. What if they want us to do that. What if they can hear us. What if they can talk to us? But not unless we are willing to believe that it is possible. You see they want us to talk to them. Visit with them. Our world is…

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One Day You Will Be Asked To Fly

I was taken aback. Stopped in my tracks. I was about to climb again just like I normally do every day. And that’s when I saw it. The summit. The top of my mountain. I froze. I sat there. There was no hill to climb. Just sky. I didn’t know what to do with the sky. What was I to do? When I crawled in 2006, it took me a long time to get up. When I got up it took me a long time to walk.…

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1 Comment3 Minutes

Losing My Dog Tyson

He was with me every second of the day. He was my shadow for exactly 8 years. He followed me around everywhere. Even when I would go to the bathroom he would just wait outside the door. He would place himself at the center of the living room to see which way I would be heading to next. And he would just look me in the eyes, trying to guess what I would do. Of course I was his second love,…

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6 Comments3 Minutes

HOPE

It comes in like a lullaby. Quiet at first but so melodical that you recognize it. It calms you down and it gets you through another day. It almost feels like it is coming from really far away, from a different place. Outside of earth. I am talking about Hope. The most precious feeling especially for those of us who have been struck by loss. For every person who feels the burden of grief.……

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2 Comments2 Minutes