Dear Anxiety Let’s Talk About You

It happens in your whole beingness, deep down and within every layer of your body. It pulls from inside out, and your whole world around you spins like a maze feels, when you step into it. Your life becomes fearful. Out of control. Unlikable. This feeling overrides any goodness that comes your way. It becomes the primary experience because it is a physical manifestation of your emotions. Everyone…

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0 Comments5 Minutes

Grieving Inside the Waiting Room vs Outside

What is the difference between grieving inside the Waiting Room vs outside? Someone in my Life Starters community asked me this question this week. So, I thought this is an answer I want all of you to have. There is an element of daring life again when we go and cry on top of a mountain. There is a roar that takes place within us when we scream under the stars. The roar gets silenced when we hide…

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0 Comments11 Minutes

You Are Enough Without the Bending

I always believed that I was someone who tells it like it is. I have been called a tough cookie more times than I can count. I am the person people come to if they want to know the truth. So, when I discovered that I have been bending over backwards in my life I was very surprised. I was shocked to be honest with you. Completely and utterly shocked. But when I looked further in I saw it…

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0 Comments4 Minutes

There Are Many Frontiers After Loss

Life after loss is a work of art. It takes decades of creating. It roars behind the clouds and screams at night in our souls. It is the most powerful human experience. And it always lives outside time and space. It is that strong. It can shift the human experience and take it outside of all the illusions. But because of its strength we need to be ready for when we get stuck, inside the waiting…

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4 Comments4 Minutes

The Half Step…

There will always be setbacks, especially in the beginning. When I say beginning, I mean the first 2 to 3 years after loss. Sorry I didn’t say six months or one year. That is not even the beginning, that is the aftermath. So, in the first few two years it will feel as if you are not moving forward. You will be taking at least two steps back and maybe a half step forward. But that half step is…

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1 Comment4 Minutes

The Walk

What if you wake up a little earlier in the morning to go for a short walk, just until the summer is over. Before the kids wake up. Before your work day begins. Before anyone needs something from you. What if you put on your running shoes, your jogging pants and walk out the door. A cup of coffee or tea at hand on your way to breathe the air, take life in. Looking for the sun, hearing the birds…

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Trust the Unseen

Two nights ago I had a dream, a very peculiar dream. I dreamed of my husband who passed nearly 10 years ago. In the dream I knew he was there, but I could not see him. We were walking together. He told me these words “We have been together in both the physical and the non-physical world.” and the dream ended. I woke up. I wanted to write this letter to you today and I think he would want me to as…

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7 Comments6 Minutes

Don't You Settle in Your Life After Loss

Don’t You Settle in Your Life After Loss

When I look back at the 3 or 4 years after my loss, I see a woman completely lost, afraid and confused as to which way to go. Also a woman who just settled a lot. The really interesting thing is that I don’t remember anyone telling me to stop settling. I had nobody tell me something like this: “You have gone through something really tragic and we know you are grieving, but it is important to…

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0 Comments6 Minutes

The Door to the Other Side, Lives Inside of You

Some might argue that it is strange to want to explore what happens to us after we die. And their argument might be correct. It is kind of strange, but it is also kind of beautiful. To me, when someone dies and they go somewhere else, it is natural to want to know where they went. It is as if they opened a door, went inside, and it closed behind them and you cannot go there. I understand it is…

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6 Comments6 Minutes

The Things I Wish I Could Have Told Myself After He Died

When I look back at myself and remember my fears after my loss, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself a few things. You see, something happens to us after loss, and we have very little visibility of our true thoughts. And little to no visibility of our dreams and desires. The real ones anyway. I had great visibility of my fears. My fears woke me up, and put me to bed every single day for…

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13 Comments6 Minutes