The Two Moons

It’s late Thursday evening as I am writing to you.  And the dark of the night makes for a deeper connection between us.  It’s almost as if we slightly step out of space so we are closer together.  It will be morning when you are reading this letter, night when I am writing it, and so we meet at dawn.  Dawn has always been a sacred time, a non-local world between the sleeping and the wake. The…

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Something Is Coming

I have always known when something was about to change in my life.  Sometimes I would know it for years beforehand.  I would tell people I know something is coming.  Something is coming.  The change itself was invisible.  I felt the enormity of it.  But there were no signs of what exactly was coming.  Just that everything was going to change.  If you were to time travel to my childhood in Greece…

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Safe Worlds

I have a few favorite movies I watch over and over again.  They are my safe worlds.  I go to them when a day has been hard. I put them on and sit to watch as if for the very first time.  My brain rests while entering a familiar world, witnessing someone else’s life.  Crying about someone else’s loss.  And why we must allow ourselves inside these safe worlds.  We must give ourselves a break from…

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Don’t You Give Up

Sometimes it will feel as if nothing makes sense.  Nothing at all.  You can’t fathom why bad things happen to you. Even though you try.  You did everything you could to change the course of your life.  You ran when you were supposed to run.  You climbed when the hill appeared in front of you.  You crawled when the ceiling was falling on you.  You swam in the deepest oceans as if it was shallow…

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The Good Letter

I have been working longer hours lately and today I didn’t get a chance to sit and write you a letter. You may think, but this is a letter isn’t it?  It is but it's not the letter I was going to write.  It is just a letter telling you that I ran out of time.  I know you understand. I know you get it.  What is important to me is to always write to you on Fridays, no matter what.  I will never not…

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You Didn’t Leave

What if you were free.  To be what you feel To scream out your name.  And jump inside the pain Would you?  Live in it.  Be in it Without fright.  Just you walking in pleight.  With yourself in mind. Would you? Would you do it? If it was true  To live not feeling blue  To conquer the grief  In brief In lift of you  Oh Lord, Your eyes can see me Your heart can hear me You didn’t leave  You just…

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Find Your Lava

I have been seeing a therapist lately.  We are trying to figure out how the heck did I change so much since the loss of my husband. Sometimes I wonder, did someone come in and replace me?  I know it sounds crazy and of course nobody replaced me but it feels like someone else is here, certainly not the woman before.  But here is what I really think.  Devastating emotional pain can change our DNA.…

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Why Don’t You Put Some Makeup On?

I posted a video about the Life Reentry class on facebook the other day and a woman commented under it, why don’t you put some makeup on Christina? At first, I responded casually.  I did have some makeup on, but it's been a long day of zoom calls and work.  And then I started thinking about it.  Hmmm. Did I not look good?  Am I getting old? Maybe I should put on heavier makeup next time so it…

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Endings

It was not like any other day.  Something was in the air.  A heaviness, with no name.  A knowing. A goodbye.  An Ending. A full stop.  And it was known.  Nothing could prevent it. Nothing at all.  It was coming. Like all endings do.  The Ending arrived quietly. Almost like a whisper.  “I am here, and I need to end this.” It murmured.  “But why do you have to be here Ending?” I asked.  “Can’t we…

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The Forbidden Path

I have been trying to write you this letter all day long.  I have so much to tell you that my thoughts are competing for their spot. I have had a hard week.  For many reasons.  And I know you had one too.  I feel like I am inside a maze. Lost.  But here is what I am really struggling with.  There is one path inside the maze that I know is the way out, but I have forbidden myself going there. I…

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