I discovered something unexpected in my years of

helping others.

Something you might not like to hear.

I must say it took me a while to see this.

Primarily because it is hard to believe.

So here it goes.

The people who I could never help,

the people who stayed in grief,

sorrow and loss were the people who did not know how to give.

They also did not know how to thank.

On top of that, they expected the help.

They felt entitled.

They also had a really bad attitude. (sorry for being so direct today)

Not only they would say yes to anything you could give them,

they would also expect you to keep giving.

I call these people life extractors.

They would take life from you,

eat it up and then ask for more and never give anything in return.

I was blown away by this realization.

I also discovered that the people with less would give the most.

And no, I am not talking about money.

These folks would give you their time,

their love and if they had any money they would give you that too.

These folks healed the fastest, and they were able to find love again.

I often asked myself is giving whatever you can give part of the ingredient

list of healing?

Was having an attitude of entitlement prevented any healing and life to come


It is possible.

So in light of all of the above, always give but the moment the person starts to

resemble the characteristics of a LIFE EXTRACTOR, walk away.

Not only because it is bad for you,

but also because you could never give this person enough time,

enough love or even enough of you.

Now here is a tough question.

Are you a life extractor or a life generator?

Do you give people attitude if they do not give you their time or are you grateful

for whatever they could give you?

If you want to heal, be grateful for all the help you have received and give

whatever you can to someone who is kind and deserves help.

Your own healing will be activated alongside theirs.

Go on, check in with your attitude and if it’s a large size start giving help to others.

I promise you, life will reward you.

What will you give today?

With gratitude,


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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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  • Sheldon says:

    I’ve spent time with needy folks most of my adult life and have seen the same things you mention. I often return to the poem “Anyway” from Mother Theresa:

    People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
    Forgive them anyway.

    If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
    Be kind anyway.

    If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
    Succeed anyway.

    If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
    Be honest and frank anyway.

    What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
    Build anyway.

    If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
    Be happy anyway.

    The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
    Do good anyway.

    Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
    Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

    You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
    It was never between you and them anyway.

  • Ken Clench says:

    This is so very true.

    I also admit (much to my shame) that I one fell into the trap of bad attitude, feeling that, because so much had been taken from me, I was somehow entitled to something. I was so very wrong.

    Thank you for saying this. It needs to be said.

    I don’t know that I’m a generator, I will never allow myself to become an extractor.


    • Ken thank you for being so open. We have all felt entitled at some point or other. I know we can all be life generators. Imagine the life we could all have. Thank you for being here, I so appreciate you!!

  • London says:

    Great message, and well stated.

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