Every Loss Is Significant
Grief is so competitive. When I first started doing this work and started to share my own losses the people with ‘bigger’ tragedies than mine would send me a lot of hate mail. As if I should not be trying to help them. As if I should not be teaching them how their brain could help them come back to life. That I should be ashamed of the fact that I truly believed they could benefit from me. The…
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My Top Ten Grief Resources
I have to be honest and say this. After my loss I listened to the wrong people...the people who had no clue how it is to go through loss at a very young age. But there was nobody around who had gone through something so devastating. I was surrounded by young, happy families who talked about play dates, birthday parties and buying new homes. I wish I knew then what I know now. Talk to people who…
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I Had a Dream
Two years ago I had a dream. I dreamed about a world where we go to reenter after loss. That world brought together the loneliest hearts so they could no longer be lonely. That world brought together the most afraid hearts so they could no longer be afraid. And that world brought together the most broken hearts so they could mend together. Once they connected they started sharing their invisible…
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Don’t Let the Holidays Get You Down
I see you preparing for the holidays with your head down. Your heart broken. Your tears frozen. Your body in agony. The holidays can have this effect. There is no holiday cheer for the bereaved, the lonely and the broken hearted. As a matter of fact, the holidays make death, divorce and all the losses much worse. I remember how it was every time I heard the carolers. I saw the perfect families…
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Don’t Ever Let Go of Your One Bold Thriving Thought
I had been sitting inside this small cubicle for a while by then. I remember that day being just like all the others before it. But that cold winter morning there was an additional thought inside my mind. I should have missed it. It lasted for a second. It was quiet. But I caught it. It said: “I can’t believe you are still in this cubicle, doing work you don’t like. Did you forget you are here to…
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You Can See Your Way Out
When I woke in my bed in the dark I had a knowing that there will be many dark nights ahead. Nights dark beyond black. Nights dark beyond the deepest of the dark. Like the inside of the ocean. Like space but darker. That’s what it’s like to be awakened by grief. And when one morning it was light enough to walk away from this darkness... fear held me down. Fear held me prisoner longer than grief…
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Start Small but Be Bold
Last night I sat in a room full of women who lost their beloved husbands. Well I wasn’t really sitting with them but I was on a big screen via video conference, from California all the way to a beautiful church in Atlanta. They listened to what I had to say and as I was sitting in front of my computer looking at them even before they started talking I knew them. I knew their pain their loss and…
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Water, Electricity, Some Food in Your Fridge and a Good Shower
There will be many mistakes in your life after loss if you live it fully. You will make the wrong turns. You will absolutely say the wrong things. Date the wrong people. At least once or twice. Spent money you shouldn’t have spent. Buy the wrong house. Go for the wrong job. Make mistakes as a parent. Many of them. Your house is more messy than ever. Your kitchen is a disaster. It’s ok, the…
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The Walk
What if you wake up a little earlier in the morning to go for a short walk, just until the summer is over. Before the kids wake up. Before your work day begins. Before anyone needs something from you. What if you put on your running shoes, your jogging pants and walk out the door. A cup of coffee or tea at hand on your way to breathe the air, take life in. Looking for the sun, hearing the birds…
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Don’t Be Afraid to Leave
I am afraid to leave. How can I go? I don’t even know that I want to go. Things are not bad, just not ideal. What about the kids? I can’t do this to them. I don’t want to be selfish. Now put this on repeat. Year after year. Decade after decade. Life is going by. Without happiness. Without love. Without worthiness. Blame. Shame. Loss. Frozen inside. Wearing a mask so nobody can see all of the…
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