I Have Found Ways

Grief comes not just when one dies, but when one's life, as they know it dies. I lost the life I knew when I was 18. I was almost ready to leave home to study history at the University of Reading, England. It was summer, and I was at a camp, volunteering when I came down with something that felt like the flu. I was feverish and exhausted and, after the sunny days on an animal sanctuary in Kent,…

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2 Comments8 Minutes

Dear Death. I never liked you.

Dear death, You come and knock on the door of some amazing people. You take them in the night, in cars, in hospital rooms and in every possible way imagined. I never liked you.  You have taken so many people I love. And you take them forever and ever. You don’t take them for a little while and then bring them back. You take them.  Period. When my husband died you gave me three and a half years to…

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22 Comments3 Minutes

Call them out!

Why do we try to be liked by people who don't like us? Have you ever tried to be liked by someone who obviously has no interest in you?  You keep talking to them.  Trying to sound interesting.  But it does not matter.  They keep ignoring you.  They keep trying to minimize your accomplishments and your worth.  But you do not stop trying.  Maybe, next time.  Maybe when you do this or that, they…

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2 Comments3 Minutes

If only…

I know I keep trying to convince you to start taking action towards the life you want to have.  And not wait for the life to come to you.  I give you hope.  I ask you to value yourself. I promise you that you can be happy again. I tell you that you can fall in love again. I tell you that you are loved.  Wanted. And desired by the world.  But it does not matter what I tell you.  You desire to…

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5 Comments3 Minutes

Keep the door open

If you were at my house right now you would see chaos, stress. You would feel the overwhelm and the fear. You see I am about to move to California in less than 72 hours. I have been in the Boston area for 10 years. My husband is buried here. In a few hours I will be saying goodbye to my house, to my friends, to the world that supported me during my biggest loss. To the world who cheered my second…

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4 Comments2 Minutes

Your Hiding Place

During my work with thousands of people I discovered a hiding place. Yes I did. This hiding place is situated right outside of the life we must leave behind after loss. We go there thinking it’s the new life. We go there to wait, wait to feel better. After all… you have been told that time is the only healer. And you listened. You did as you were told. You went there to wait. To wait so time…

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8 Comments2 Minutes

GIVE.

I discovered something unexpected in my years of helping others. Something you might not like to hear. I must say it took me a while to see this. Primarily because it is hard to believe. So here it goes. The people who I could never help, the people who stayed in grief, sorrow and loss were the people who did not know how to give. They also did not know how to thank. On top of that, they expected…

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6 Comments3 Minutes

Guest blog: The face of chronic illness

We all recognize and respect the grief of others when they’ve lost a loved one. We know that whether the pain is visible or not, loss equals grief, and those who have not yet experienced that pain firsthand will at some point in their lives feel it. But there is also a profound sense of loss that accompanies chronic illness. While I have firsthand experience with the pain of loss, my daily life…

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0 Comments6 Minutes