Self Care After Devastating Loss
Something catastrophic happens to our ability to care for ourselves when we go through a devastating loss. We disown our body. We detach from it. We only feel and see our heads and our heart. The physical body is forgotten. We don’t shower, dress nicely, eat well, go to the doctors, move, rest. We don’t care about it. We drag it through life as if it is not important. And I am guilty as charged.…
5 Comments10 Minutes
Resilience Dust
“Nothing there is beyond hope, nothing that can be sworn impossible, nothing wonderful, since Zeus, father of the Olympians, made night from midday, hiding the light of the shining sun.” Archilochus (c680–645 BCE) description of a solar eclipse. Nothing there is beyond hope, nothing there is impossible. It never has been. It never will be. You and me, and the world will see sorrow, pain and we…
0 Comments3 Minutes
The Second Place Myth of Adoption
Last week I celebrated the one month birthday of my new daughter Maggie. The rewards have been immense and I’ve cried more tears of gratitude than I should probably admit. However, one of the biggest gifts Little Maggie — my first biological child — has brought is something you may not expect. For most people, the miracle of childbirth itself or the relief that Mom and baby are safe are the…
10 Comments14 Minutes
GIVE.
I discovered something unexpected in my years of helping others. Something you might not like to hear. I must say it took me a while to see this. Primarily because it is hard to believe. So here it goes. The people who I could never help, the people who stayed in grief, sorrow and loss were the people who did not know how to give. They also did not know how to thank. On top of that, they expected…
6 Comments4 Minutes
Change is lonely.
Life re-entry can be a lonely experience. Transformation into the person you want to be will require a different kind of loss. Loss of relationships. Loss of connections you used to have. Loss of many bridges that connected you to the life you left behind. It will almost feel like you are speaking in an another language. And that is when you will feel it. The loneliness of life re-entry.…
0 Comments3 Minutes
Outer space. Inner Grief.
I always wanted to travel to space. Just to look at the earth from afar. I have imagined this moment so many times. I would see myself look from the window and shed tears of pure awe. I always felt that the Earth had one heartbeat, and just one soul. From space we look like we are all wrapped up in one big beautiful ball. No egos, no politics, no past or future. If we only knew not how small we…
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The invisible broken heart!
Your beautiful heart has suffered for so long. It has been broken into so many pieces over and over again. You have been betrayed, forgotten, ignored and even pushed to the side. Life has definitely beaten up this amazing heart that lives inside of you. Unfortunately, most of us believe that the hurt is invisible and lives secretly within us. That is a myth. Sorrow is a real and visible thing.…
0 Comments8 Minutes