Do What Will Get You Through This Holiday Season

There is no positive way to look at the holidays after loss. I really tried. I know this is not your typical self-help talk. I can give you all the positive words and ask you to do your best, but you and I know it won’t work. You know the work we do here is about realistic expectations and real help. This is not a movie where everyone ends up with someone to love during the holidays. Sometimes it…

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Grieving Inside the Waiting Room vs Outside

What is the difference between grieving inside the Waiting Room vs outside? Someone in my Life Starters community asked me this question this week. So, I thought this is an answer I want all of you to have. There is an element of daring life again when we go and cry on top of a mountain. There is a roar that takes place within us when we scream under the stars. The roar gets silenced when we hide…

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A Little Bit of Cursing After Loss

This letter might shock you just a little. I am going to be using a curse word and want to warn you. Every week I share with you my own life experiences and use them to write this letter. Well, here’s what happened the last few days. All of a sudden I started using the F word in my conversations. And it is important for you to know that I don’t swear. Like I never do. I am one of those people who…

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3 Comments5 Minutes

There Are Many Frontiers After Loss

Life after loss is a work of art. It takes decades of creating. It roars behind the clouds and screams at night in our souls. It is the most powerful human experience. And it always lives outside time and space. It is that strong. It can shift the human experience and take it outside of all the illusions. But because of its strength we need to be ready for when we get stuck, inside the waiting…

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4 Comments4 Minutes

Let Go of the ‘Good Enough’ Things

Today, we will talk about letting go. Letting go of all the good enough things we carry. We picked up these things because we had to after loss. Countless of them. At first, we carry them because we can and because they are not too heavy to carry. Good things. Ok things. Not so bad things. After a while we get used to carrying them. We go about our life with all these good enough things. Over…

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2 Comments4 Minutes

The Half Step…

There will always be setbacks, especially in the beginning. When I say beginning, I mean the first 2 to 3 years after loss. Sorry I didn’t say six months or one year. That is not even the beginning, that is the aftermath. So, in the first few two years it will feel as if you are not moving forward. You will be taking at least two steps back and maybe a half step forward. But that half step is…

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Say No to the Meatballs…

Imagine there is a part of you that is timeless. Completely and totally timeless. Ancient almost. Millions of years old. Now imagine this part of you lives inside your body. Inside your mind. Inside your thoughts. You have access to it as soon as you realize its existence. You have access to its wisdom, its knowing and its ability to help you review your life in a way that allows you to make all…

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Life After Life…After Life

Lately I have been wondering about a lot of things. It feels as if I am looking at life from a different lens. How come we find some of the strangest things around us normal? For example, why is it that our earth is in the middle of infinite space and we perceive it as ordinary? Why is it that we sleep at night as if we are completely gone from this dimension and we don’t find it peculiar? And…

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2 Comments6 Minutes

Part Human, Part Something Else

“Who would I be if he hadn’t died?” I often ask myself. What would I be doing today if my life was not broken into thousands of pieces 10 years ago? A husband, a couple of kids, living this life with its normal everyday things. What if he hadn’t died? This parallel universe would not have been here. July 21st (yesterday) was the ten year anniversary since his passing. Ten whole years of a…

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7 Comments5 Minutes

Trust the Unseen

Two nights ago I had a dream, a very peculiar dream. I dreamed of my husband who passed nearly 10 years ago. In the dream I knew he was there, but I could not see him. We were walking together. He told me these words “We have been together in both the physical and the non-physical world.” and the dream ended. I woke up. I wanted to write this letter to you today and I think he would want me to as…

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7 Comments6 Minutes