The way I see the world after loss is not very traditional.

But it is one that has saved my life and the lives of many others.

This is what I know for sure.

  1. You can find joy after loss in the most unexpected things and experiences.
  2. Your broken heart can create deep life changing conversations.
  3. You are more authentic and present than ever before.
  4. You can experience some of your creative years to date.Whether it’s a painting on a canvas, a book, a volunteer activity or talking to a homeless man and seeing the world through their eyes.
  5. You have never been wiser.
  6. You have never been stronger and more compassionate.
  7. To me, age changes its rhythm after loss.Your human age does not correspond to the age you have after your loss. Years don’t count the same way. And yes, I have proof for all of the above not only from someone in their 40s but from people who are all the way to their 80s. And if they can go back to school, have amazing sex and laugh out loud every day so can we. Grief is an inhuman experience taking place in a human body. It lives outside of time and space. It doesn’t have a clock. And there will never be a right time to live again. Do it regardless.
  8. The key to your happiness is your ability to rewrite your life story. You see, grieving is a personal journey. You must go at your own pace. You have to use your own words. And feel your own feelings. Nothing will resemble someone else’s path, nothing should.
  9. Above all, don’t let your laughter be forgotten. You will have some days when everything is going the wrong way. On those days cry yes, but also get up and put on some good music and start dancing.
  10. Launching your new life takes guts and boldness, and a lot of hard work, so be gentle with yourself and trust the process.
  11. Allow another human being to see you, to know your pain. (Click to Tweet!)
  12. Open the door to your next chapter, feel the fear and keep the door open as long as you can.
  13. Anyone who is trying to stop you from starting over, don’t let them.
  14. Find the proof of your own value after loss. Do not stop searching. Trust me it is there. Honor your life, love your life. No matter what has happened to you. Remember that pleasing other people when you don’t want to, is disrespectful towards your own life.
  15. Learn to remember your past without living there.
  16. Go to the edge every day. Something happens to our identity when we push ourselves to the limits.
  17. It takes time to become who you know you can be. Don’t give up because you are halfway there. The second half is easier than the first.
  18. Don’t ever stop yourself from expressing how you feel.
  19. Never underestimate your powers when you have nothing to lose.
  20. You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unthinkable.

Print this list and read it to yourself on the tough days. Please.

All of the above is true. I know it. I have lived it and have witnessed thousands of others living their version every day. You’ve got this.

With so much life,


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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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One Comment

  • YES!!!! I am beyond thrilled to see someone who feels as I do. I lost my Peyton five years ago. Through my grief, I have learned. I am more empathetic. I am stronger. I am more aware. My focus for the first 50 years of my life was inward. Now my focus is outward. Thank you for putting this into sords.

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