Don’t Let the Holidays Get You Down

I see you preparing for the holidays with your head down. Your heart broken. Your tears frozen. Your body in agony. The holidays can have this effect. There is no holiday cheer for the bereaved, the lonely and the broken hearted. As a matter of fact, the holidays make death, divorce and all the losses much worse. I remember how it was every time I heard the carolers. I saw the perfect families…

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3 Comments5 Minutes

What I Know for Sure

The way I see the world after loss is not very traditional. But it is one that has saved my life and the lives of many others. This is what I know for sure. You can find joy after loss in the most unexpected things and experiences. Your broken heart can create deep life changing conversations. You are more authentic and present than ever before. You can experience some of your creative years to…

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1 Comment4 Minutes

Jamie’s Kind of Kind

I asked the Gods for health, love, life and adventure. But never asked for a kind soul. I thought my soul was kind enough. I didn’t need to be kinder, I needed to be tougher, stronger. Tragedy does that to you. Kind is not what you look for. Resilience is your middle name. But yesterday a friend died. She was washed to sea. My heart broke. It broke in so many places. In the midst of my crying and…

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It Took Me 3,652 Days to Find My Own Happiness

I don’t know exactly when it started to happen. But there was a moment in time when things shifted towards more happiness than hopelessness. More joy than resistance. More cheer than angst. More present than past. But it took me a decade to get there. Yes ten whole years. That’s 3,652  days. That’s 87,658 hours. For every one of those days and hours I became my own best friend. I talked myself…

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1 Comment3 Minutes

Start Small but Be Bold

Last night I sat in a room full of women who lost their beloved husbands. Well I wasn’t really sitting with them but I was on a big screen via video conference, from California all the way to a beautiful church in Atlanta. They listened to what I had to say and as I was sitting in front of my computer looking at them even before they started talking I knew them. I knew their pain their loss and…

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Getting Lost Is Necessary for Miracles to Happen

In a few days Second Firsts will be 5 years old. I vividly remember the night I came up with the name. It was 2:00am. I was crying. I was defeated. It had been 18 months after my husband died with two babies sleeping in the next room and the words just landed on me. Second Firsts. In that moment there was an interruption of grief and a glimmer of hope for something greater. I had to come…

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To Be like a Kid Again

The lingering haze does not take away the endless visibility of NASA’s horizon, as I entered the gates last night. It is more like an intense unused feeling you experience for the first time, as soon as you arrive here. There seems to be this additional layer of reality that rests on the blank space around you. I searched for the stars above the Kennedy Space Center’s two lane roads and when I…

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4 Comments4 Minutes

Keep Your Crazy Idea After Loss a Secret

Your mind feels like it can explode after loss. It feels shattered and in many pieces. It feels confused, unable and going around the same thoughts over and over again. Most of the time these thoughts are about fear and doubt. These thoughts are not only questioning your life, your family and your friends, but also yourself. You are questioning everything now. You live in doubt and uncertainty.…

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2 Comments5 Minutes

Life Begins When You Are Old

Nothing can stop it. Nobody can press pause. No kings. No Queens. No presidents. Nobody has been able to stop AGING. Nobody has been able to stop us from growing old. No matter how much we want to stay young, it ain’t happening. Someone yesterday told me... You don’t know how it is to not be seen. You don’t know how age can make you invisible. I could never say that I do know how it is to be…

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14 Comments4 Minutes

May You Dance

May your coming year be the year you get to believe that life is owned by you and nobody should tell you how to live it. I hope you spend countless hours walking next to beautiful crushing waves with sand all over your feet. May you find ways to express all your feelings so you are open wide for new loves. I hope this year you will feel understood, seen and loved like never before. You will find…

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5 Comments2 Minutes