I just wish we had someone tell us the truth every day.
Not what we want to hear… but the way things are.
I think we would grow up faster.
We would be less heart broken.
Since we would know the truth from the beginning.
We would waste less time.
It would be hard at first but we would be able to change direction earlier on.
We would have a better chance at being with the right people.
Having different experiences.
Loving someone else.
In my early twenties I dated someone for 5 years.
One day he called me to tell me he had been with someone else.
I broke up with him.
I remember the day so clearly.
I fell on the ground after I hung up the phone.
My heart broke so badly.
The truth was that he had cheated on me all 5 years.
With many women.
And I did not know.
I did not have the truth, and I lived in my version of reality.
I lived in a world that did not exist for anyone else but me.
Talk about a blind isolation.
Imagine if I knew the truth about it the first year.
Yes my heart would still break but I would not have lived in a fake world for another 4.
Not telling the truth to someone…in my opinion is a crime. (Click to Tweet!)
But what is a bigger crime is knowing that we are being lied to and turning our head the other way.
We become the bigger liars.
And since most of us don’t have someone who is brave enough to speak the truth to us, we need to be the one to do this.
To seek the truth.
If you know someone in your life who is lying to you but you are so afraid of losing them that you pretend not to know.
Ask yourself this question.
Is this person worth the sacrifice of your truth?
Many years from now the truth will surface and you will grieve the life you could have had if you faced what was in front of you.
The truth…the truth….the truth…seek it sooner rather than later. (Click to Tweet!)
I wish I could find truth
Six years ago, after 34 years of marriage, I confronted my husband about lying regarding his addiction. I was DONE and was determined to divorce, however told him I still loved him and always would. BLESS ME ! I wanted the TRUTH and a more peaceful life!! I had remained married to him TOO LONG!! And yes, as the message stated I turned my head many times, hoping things would get better, lying to myself ! He responded by taking his own life and devastated myself, two adult children and one grandchild. I DID NOT take the blame for his action and did not feel guilty, refusing to be a victim by taking his action upon myself. I forgave him and focused on the good memories of our life together as there were many. I recovered well from this tragedy, however now feel I am struggling for that NEW LIFE I want so badly. I do plug ins but go in and out of the waiting room. I read and work the book exercises daily, but many days I get confused about what to do that day to help myself. That fear rears its head! Trusting again is hard. Christina, any insight or suggestions you could give I would appreciate. Bless you for helping!!
Always look for the truth. But I don’t know what I would have done with the truth at 6 years old while I was being abused.
Your post captures the issue peeflctry!
That’s a shrewd answer to a tricky question
Love this, Christina! This is what I firmly believe and speak and write about most. Not knowing the truth as well as denying the truth only leads us to a place of much greater pain and grieving over the life we could have had, than the temporary pain of loss or change the truth will bring. Denial, untruth, bent truth, shaded truth only eat away at who we are and the joy we are meant to live.
You judgement on people telling lies is a crime shows your still not facing Truth. The fact that you judge means your ego is still in command, denying that the role your lover played was specifically to point to what you loathe and judge is in you, he accepted the role out of supreme love as you did for him! And do not think I claim to handle all my little personal story without my ego, it wins frequently, but I am able see it in reflection, and I get stronger against it every day. I honor your story greatly, and know your story has helped me and many others. This response is for you out of my wish for you to have the Ah Ha moment be a plateau that keeps you calm and content in the ups and downs of life in a polarity dimension. You are not what you see in the mirror, just a costume to grow your seed self into the tree of infinite possibilities!
One of the hardest things I have had happen to me is experiencing grief for the life I could have lived. The realization, of the life I did not live and the reasons I didn’t live it, hit me like ton of bricks toppling down when I was in my middle 40’s. It was completely unexpected. I believed the lies I had been told while growing up. The intentions behind those lies were mostly good. No one was trying to harm me, as far as I know. Some of the lies were born of selfishness but I can understand that and forgive most of it. But they were lies I accepted as gospel truth and I planned my life accordingly. And I have never been happy. I have spent the past 20 years sorting truth from fiction, discarding or amending many of the lies I was taught. Somewhere along the line, the full realization of what I could have been hit me. I grew up being told that most people are unhappy and that being sad and frustrated is something we must learn to accept. I wasn’t taught that unhappiness was caused by the occasional bumps in the road, or even the tragic losses but the daily grind of living an existence we did not wish to live. I was taught not to expect happiness. I have learned to be content in most areas of my life which is what it takes to remain functional without being a drag to the people around me. I want to stop grieving the “what if’s” and “if only’s.”
after 27 years of marriage the truth that my husband had been molesting my daughter was revealed. he and my daughter had kept the secret to keep the family intact for many years. swift action landed my husband in prison, us divorced, and my three children and myself trying to piece our life back together. This post hit home. I was blindsided, what was real in our life together? I don’t know. The pain of the last 9 months has so many layers and pierces so deep into my soul. I trusted this man with my children, the dearest beings in my world. How can I trust again? I can’t even trust myself to detect danger!
I am grateful for your posts.