I never liked the word bereavement. 

As a matter of fact…I don’t really connect with the word.

The word means nothing to me, to the pain, to my loss of identity.

For me that word belonged to an 80 year old person who lost her husband or parents due to old age and it was a natural place to be.

When I experienced many losses by the age of 34 I felt like there was no word to describe life being interrupted in such a shocking way when it was not supposed to be.

But above all there was no word to describe the transformation that took place after.

Our society failed my rebirth.

I had to invent my resurrection.

I had to come up with new terms and new definition of who I was.

I was certainly not a widow, not a victim, not a bereaved.

I was a life starter.

I was a butterfly.

I was a superhuman with superpowers that could evolve my life to a level that I could not possibly imagine.

But how come nobody got the memo.

How come nobody spoke of the truth of our soul’s ability to evolve after loss.

How come I became a lower grade human within my colleagues at work?

How come people avoided my presence?

How come I was not treated with respect because of my upcoming resurrection?

The world had missed the point.

All of it.

So here is the new norm.

The new status quo.

The new way to be.

If you have been abandoned by family, left by your spouse, lost your beloved, abused by a stranger, ignored at work, isolated by the world…


You have access to a very special portal.

A portal that will take you to a brand new life.

That life you cannot see from where you are right now.

That life can only be seen through your imagination.

The place where HOPE LIVES.


That life gets created in there first and foremost.

Once you have the picture of how you want your life to be after loss, then you start taking steps.

And one thing I need to make clear is that these steps are small.

Your steps have to be tiny so you don’t activate your fear center in your brain and lose sight of your portal.

And when I say small I mean small.

Let me give you some examples of steps that will get you further into the portal.

  1. Singing in the shower when you would rather not.
  2. Doing highlights on your hair when the last time you went to the hairdresser was 2 years ago.
  3. Telling your neighbor to stop parking in front of your house.
  4. Setting up a dating profile and not publishing it.
  5. Browsing classes at your community college even if you have no intention of going back to school.
  6. Look in the mirror without looking away.
  7. Say I love you out loud to yourself even if you feel stupid.
  8. Find the sunrise and make sure you get up to see it rise.
  9. Find out how much it costs to belong to your local gym even if you have been telling yourself its too expensive and you don’t have time to go.
  10. Stop texting the friend you no longer like. Simple.

There is such a misconception about starting over.

You don’t have to win the lottery.

You don’t have to find a prince on the white horse and you certainly do not need to be 20 pounds lighter.

You just have to start with the list above.

And start expecting your new life to arrive earlier than you can possibly imagine.

Which action from the list above will you do today?

With bold small moves,


PS. My book Second Firsts just went on a second print 3 weeks before release. WOW. The book has been finding its way to all of you. Thank you for the photos. Thank you for your loving words. Thank you for helping me help millions of people. You have taken my breath away this week. If you have not grabbed your early copy yet, please do as soon as possible here and join my private online book club here

And keep sending me photos of you and the book. I love love to see you!

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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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