There will be many mistakes in your life after loss if you live it fully.

You will make the wrong turns.

You will absolutely say the wrong things.

Date the wrong people. At least once or twice.

Spent money you shouldn’t have spent.

Buy the wrong house.

Go for the wrong job.

Make mistakes as a parent. Many of them.

Your house is more messy than ever.

Your kitchen is a disaster. It’s ok, the neighbor does not have to come all the way in.

You may even look like you have not showered for a week.

You can’t even walk in your closet.

Your bills are not paid.

You might feel like you lost all of your skills.

And nobody or anyone can help you.

Not only have you gone through a terrible loss but everything seems to go wrong.

On top of that, your own health may be getting worse.

You have aches and pains you never had.

You are literally waiting for the other shoe to drop.


I want to start by saying all of the above is normal after loss.

You are learning to walk again and it will be bumpy at first.

I wish someone had written this letter to me after my loss, so I didn’t think I was the only person in the world failing at starting over.

Well… this letter is for you if you have experienced any of the above.

Don’t be ashamed.

Don’t beat yourself up.

If you dated the wrong person, put it behind you. (Click to Tweet!)

If you said the wrong thing to your kid it is not the end of the world.

If you need to pay your electricity bill just spend 5 minutes doing this today so they don’t turn off your lights.

Start with the very basic. Water, electricity, some food in the fridge and a good shower. Everything else can wait. (Click to Tweet!)

And there will be some more mistakes.

Yes you read right, there will be more wrong turns. You will be ok.

You are on your way to your new identity and you are trying some new things on.

If something does not fit, take it off and move on to the next experience.

For now let’s get the basics back, keep you safe and healthy, and don’t worry about anything else.

With love,



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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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