I always had a messy kitchen.

Stuff everywhere.

I used to always have excuses as to why my kitchen was messy.

-I have small kids.

-I am a single parent.

-I am a working mom

-A clean kitchen does not mean a great life

Anyways, you get the point.

So recently… I got real with myself and stopped lying about how much my kitchen bothered me.

I would walk into my kitchens in all the houses I have ever lived and would always want to walk out.

When we had guests coming over for dinner I would clean it and make it ready for them.

But never for me.

I had convinced myself that I had no time for this kitchen to look good.

What I experienced for many years was this feeling of dread when I saw my kitchen.

I also held a belief for myself that I was not organized and I never had enough time to do these ‘unimportant’ things.

When you operate from a place of life and death perspective you can easily convince yourself that a clean kitchen, nicely decorated home and a made bed are not important bucket list items.

But what if they are?

What if it is important to live in a space that you feel good about yourself?

What if you start cleaning your kitchen and the daily habit of taking care of your space starts to extend to other areas? Then a clean kitchen is the reason for changing the beliefs about you.

It becomes the reason that you invited more people over.

You no longer avoid the neighbors who knock on your door. You get more friends to sit around the kitchen table.

You connect more.

You love more.

You see yourself as someone with a beautiful house.

Who has many friends drop by.

Who is popular.

Who is loved.

Who gets invited to other kitchens and dinners.

In my book Second Firsts, I have a step called Plug In, which helps you change your life in many small ways. Our lives can really transform by changing small things daily.

That is the only way I know how to change lives and how I changed my life over the course of 8 years.

You see, in the last few days I started to clean my kitchen more, and all of a sudden I have become this really busy woman with 4 kids with a really clean kitchen.


I am impressed with myself. 🙂

And all that, because I spent 5 minutes a day cleaning my clutter and wiping down the counters.

Maybe it’s an illusion or a reality that I choose to operate in by changing something that I can control.

You choose.

My homework for you this week is to wipe the counters of your kitchen every morning.

And see what happens.

Yes that is it.

A simple action you can do.

A simple request everyone can do.

How about that?

How about slowly getting used to being in control of our lives?

I say yes to that, and to a clean kitchen.

Never underestimate the ability to change your life by small simple tasks. (Click to Tweet!)

With a very clean kitchen,


PS. Make sure you watch my 15 min talk I did in Seattle.

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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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  • Sharon says:

    I agree wholeheartedly with this! I enjoy keeping my kitchen clean as it makes ME feel better. Even after losing my hubby over six years ago, in the depths of grief, I kept my kitchen clean. I am encouraged that after eight years you are still doing plug ins too. It gives me hope as I continue to exit the waiting room to my new live, one small step at a time. I feel the pull to that new life daily. Thanks Christina !

  • Mara says:

    This is so true. My kitchen is clean. Even cleaned out the cabinets and donated a lot of items. I did stop there, I painted a couple accent walls, bought a new painting for above there fire place and have been picking up new nick-nacks . You are right it does make me feel better changing things up and making sure my house is clean. I’m not getting rid of Jim, would never do that and don’t want to. However, I’m here, alone. So I am slowly making changes to make this my home now, my new life. I did not choose this life, Jim did not choose to die. September 6th will be six months that my love died. I am not the same person I was and never will be. But thanks to Second First and you Christina, I know I will make it. I’m not going to lie, I am struggling with this 6 month mark, half a year! It blows my mind, where did the last 6 months go? I’ve been thinking about this question I ask myself . The last six months I have spent in pain, praying, picking up the pieces of my life, healing and you know what……I realized I have survived it, no it has not been easy, but I have survived it. So redoing little things in my home and keeping it clean has helped me to jump back into life. Do I still jump back to the waiting room? Yes! But the differance is I am finding the door to life, my new life. Do I know what it is going to be like a the year mark? No, but I know I’m a fighter, a survivor and I can see a future, I have plans I’m working towards . Jim will forever be my best friend, my love and I will never forget Us. I know he would want me to live and be happy. You know what, I want that too. Thank you Christina for all you do, you get it.

    With life and thanks ,

  • It may be just me, but when I tried to use the link to your talk in Seattle, it tells me it tells me it’s Safety Mode enabled and I can’t see it. Just thought you might need to know.

  • Grace Aprea Johnson says:

    You are so wise…A lovely orderly surrounding makes one function better and happier in every way…your words are symbolic to “clean house” everywhere…even our minds…Your place(?) looks warm and inviting…would love to enjoy a cup of tea (and some cheesecake) and some laughter with you…Grace

  • Lisa Sharp says:

    Yes yes yes!!! I am high fiving you right now! This is not about being anal retentive, or rigid or perfect in any way shape or form. A clean kitchen opens doors and lets communion happen. No one cares how messy it is, but if we hold judgement about how it looks then we are less likely to share with others, to feel at ease with people dropping by and we live with a low lying tension of disorder. I see a (relatively) tidy kitchen as a sign of self care. When we care enough to spend an extra few minutes being good stewards to our belongings and our homes, we are really taking care of the hard work we put into earning the money to buy those things. It shows that we care enough about ourselves to tend to the “little” things that make up our days. Yes, they aren’t as glamorous as a bucket list sky diving adventure but don’t we deserve to live in a space that lights us up *every day*? Enjoying our daily lives is such an underrated blessing.

    Thank you for sharing your words with us!

  • corinne johnson says:

    Dear christina, i have your book second firsts and it is wonderful. and i signed up to your mesage in a bottle.

    The day before i got the message about keeping your kitchen tidy, i started cleaning my kitchen a bit at a time ,i dont know why i wanted to do something !!

    i now have a lovely clean kitchen and im keeping it that way. i also have a new hobby ,colouring in pictures, its relaxing and i love it

    im still in the waiting room after losing my son last october but it think i have made 2 babysteps into a new life , i know my son would be proud .
    thankyou and bless you <3 hugs

  • Leann Qualle says:

    I love the “clean counters” message. I have mentioned it to you several times. It is so simple but so worth while….it is the little steps you talk about to start changing our lives. After church today I considered stopping for breakfast but the places I drove by looked very busy, as they usually are on Sundays. So I drove home and made my own breakfast. I still have a hard time going out to eat by myself…….I feel out of place taking up a table or booth just for myself. I guess that is one step I’m going to have to work on. Happy Sunday to you and your family!!! Leann Q.

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