"If you catch yourself in fear today, remember this.
It's your memory of suffering that's telling you to be afraid. Not
your experience of the present moment. Let your mind build a
fearless future and your destiny has a chance to be reclaimed"
- Christina Rasmussen

What are you willing to do today so you get to visit yourself
without fear opening the door?

Permanent marker

What you will CHOOSE to do with your day today
will be sketched with a permanent marker.

There is no eraser that comes with it.
No extra paper underneath.
And no white out.

Every action, every word, every thought will not be undone, will
not be forgotten and will not be anyone else's.

Now there is one more challenge.

Your masterpiece has to be an original.

Today's creation should be
unlike all your other drawings.

Will you dare to draw outside the lines?

It's Saturday after all.

Make some noise

Today started out just like any other day. You were just about to
retrace yesterday's steps.
You were getting ready to recreate your
default routine.

Did you know that when your day matches yesterday, and yesterday matches the
day before, that's not called living?

Its called REWINDING!

What will it take to put one foot in front of the other and go
claim the unknown, the uncertain and the unclaimed life that was
meant for you?

When will the expression of life take over you?

Send me your response, commit to it and I will be right there to
cheer you.

It's time.

Be done with retracing. And begin with remapping.

Make some noise. I AM ALL EARS!!

I choose to be happy

I can almost envision you. I see your face, your frozen glare
resting somewhere in the room you are in.

I sense heaviness. The air around you is dense. And the feeling
that accompanies you, has circled your heart with a bucket of

That's OK. I understand, its not easy to carry the steel frame of
grief day in and day out.

But did you know, you could teach yourself to feel lighter? And did
you know, you and only you can turn the bucket full of sorrow to an
ocean full of happiness?
Here is a start...

Get up.

Start moving.

Shake the heaviness off your body.

Find a mirror, look right at it and say out loud.

"I am strong as the mountains, beautiful as the big blue ocean, and

Walk out, with your head up high, with a deliberate and forceful
spring in your step.

And as you are heading out the door, sneak a little
smile to the steel frame of grief that is left behind laying on
your chair.

And that's when you realize...she doesn't always have to come along.

Dressing Up

The morning is here and you are getting up to face another day.

STOP. Right here....

And Rewind.

OK. Let's try again...

The morning is here and you are getting up to a brand new day that
COULD change your life. Because of that realization, you decide to
wear something you keep for special occasions.

All of a sudden you feel a tiny little butterfly in your stomach.

Dressing up for the day is already having a positive effect on you.

You look in the mirror and a smile is greeting you.

As you are walking out the door you realize that you haven't felt
like this in a while. And you wonder could it be as simple as
"dressing up" for the day?

Could it be that when you decide to treat each day as if it's
SPECIAl you get your own special treatment back?

Go on....Go FIND OUT.
Your day is waiting to see YOU.

The sea of life

I know there are days in your life that can feel not only
suffocating but also very unexpected.

The sea is calm and welcoming and you think it's ok to dive in but
as you are swimming in the big blue ocean......there it comes. It grabs you and throws you around so much that you won't even consider going in the blue waters ever again.

You must be prepared for the next time that massive menacing wave
comes and hits your shore. So this is what you need to do.

Plan ahead. It's up to you when you want to go back in.
Wear your life vest by remembering what you are made of.
Walk in the water as if you mean it. If someone was watching you
they would see a person ready for Life.

And if the wave comes....meet it where it's at.
Put your arms up in the air and leap.

When you open your eyes you might find that the wave is gone and
you are still swimming in the blue ocean of life.

Will you try?

A request from within

I have a favor to ask of you today.

It has to do with your ability to overcome severe struggles,
tragedies, and above all loss. This ability lives inside of you
every day and its called Perseverance.

Since it has made it's home there, Perseverance has made friends
with your inner Wisdom. They talk to each other quite often. And
today your inner Wisdom made a request.

It has asked Perseverance to OPEN A NEW DOOR. And even if the
first couple of knocks don't do the trick that's when you will have
to persevere, knock some more or go find the key. Either way, today
is the day you must open a new door in your life.

My dear friend will you listen to your inner voices and make sure
you use your abilities?

Just like the wind

Your day is almost like the wind.  It comes and goes in an
invisible force leaving untraceable energy.  But if you choose to run with it and follow where it takes you, I guarantee you will find yourself in beautiful surroundings, with unforgettable people. Your day will be visibly here and memorably yours. Open your door, feel the breeze, and follow the energy. Your magic carpet is standing by.

Don't wait forever. Your day is too precious to not be received,
felt, or experienced by you. It's your duty. Honor it.

Workshop Coming Soon!

Watch this space for our soon to be announced workshops!

Practicing Gratitude

Did you know that human brains are hard-wired to scout for trouble? Back in caveman days, or even the wild wild west, continuously scanning your surroundings for trouble was a useful way for us to be hard-wired, since danger and life-threatening situations loomed around every corner.
And when you’re in the middle of a divorce or separation, it’s natural to feel more pessimistic than optimistic. Let’s face it, even if ending the relationship is the right decision, it doesn’t make it an easy decision.

But now that we live in the [comparatively] safer 21st century, this negativity-seeking hard-wire insures that we emphasize the troubles and worries in our life, rather than focusing on the good things. And while there are always plenty of bad things that go on in the world, there are also abundant good things.....if we remember to slow down long enough to pay attention.

Yes, even if you’re getting divorced. There are still good things in your life even if your relationship is ending, even if they’re difficult to identify at the moment. Set your intentions to positive thoughts and they’ll serve as your beacon. http://bit.ly/craDvQ

Think I’m sounding a little airy-fairy here? This exercise is actually based on Stanford University's Gratitude Study, directed by Dr. Frederic Luskin, Ph.D. (http://learningtoforgive.com/). The study found that people who focused on what they were thankful for just a minute or two a day had much more positive attitudes, and, as a result, a higher quality of life, than those who didn't. And best of all, it's simple, free, and it works.

You can make gratitude a habit by practicing it every day with this simple exercise http://bit.ly/8XK8PU:

Simply take a minute to make a mental list of everything you're thankful for every single day. It might be something big: the chemotherapy worked, a promotion, your best friend's new baby. It can also be small stuff: you find your car keys, your team makes it to the playoffs, your long lost friend finds you on Facebook.

Here’s my list from this morning:

  • I love the way the light shines through the Venetian blinds in the morning
  • I am so happy my rescue dog finally learned to “sit”
  • I’ll have time to take a nap on Saturday
  • I’m going to have a very productive week
  • There’s leftover spaghetti so I don’t need to cook tonight
  • I don’t have to answer to my spouse anymore about my choices with money or how I spend my time

This list might sound a little silly. But I really am thankful for these things. And the point is to make a list, no matter how insignificant any given item is. The exercise is about making a list, not about the items on the list.

Be thankful for all things, from important to mundane.

Go over your list during a quiet time of day or night for you. Maybe during those few minutes between the time you wake up and when you actually have to get up, in the middle of the night when you wake up and can't get back to sleep, or simply pausing during the day.

When you're feeling gratitude, you'll literally have a better day than if you let your negativity hard-wire be in charge all the time. And if you’re feeling down, watch the Gratidudes do their Gratitude Dance (or better yet, join in!)

Diana Mercer Bio:

Diana Mercer is the co-author of Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys to Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life (Perigee 2010). Join the conversation and community on our video blog and check out Diana’s divorce blog on the Huffington Post

Diana Mercer is an Attorney-Mediator and the founder of Peace Talks Mediation Services, www.peace-talks.com. She is the co-author of Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys to Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life (Penguin/Perigee 2010) and Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001) and writes for the Huffington Post as well as her own blog Making Divorce Work.