Ah we destroy ourselves after loss.

We destroy the body, we neglect our homes..we procrastinate when it comes to living again.

Dare I say, there is some hate towards love?

Dare I say this?

Dare I admit it?

Admit that after loss, the first thing that comes up is not life, it is not love and it is not passion.

It is merely surviving, it is merely loving ourselves in any way or form.

We abandon the life force within us.

We close the door to feeling
We shut the door to vulnerability.

And even when years have gone by and we think we got it all together, that is when we discover the one thing that never came back.

The one thing that was lost when grief took down our door.

Self love.

I want to scream it from the rooftops.

Make signs and start running in the streets.

I want to tell you about the one very important thing we have left behind.

Love for ourselves.

Care of us.

True love for our bodies, our skin, ourselves.

True love.

Instead we have figured out the best way to sabotage every part of US. But why, why do we let go of the one and only self.

We sabotage the self that is our vessel, the one container of life.

I asked myself that question so many times, for years.

Lately I have been receiving the answer.

The answer to the most important question.

How do we love ourselves again?

I think the answer lies in the habitual nature of grief.

The stronger the grief you endured, the stronger the habits of grieving.

The brain looks for the tragedy, the rejection, the hate, and the loss over and over again.

While the brain is looking for the automatic nature of grief, the body and the heart is in a protective state.

Survival. Protectiveness. Fight state.

Even when we fall in love again. Even when we laugh again. The brain will continue to survive, protect and fight.

So we need to put ourselves back into manual gear.


We need to step out of the protective survival state of our minds, and walk into the dirt road of a manual attempt to bring back the love for ourselves.

Minute by minute.

Day by day.

Start with… giving yourself time.

Time to you is the first gift of love.

Then start to say no to all the unwanted yeses you have said to protect yourself from rejection and more grief.

And finally will you just go for a massage?

Yes it all comes to the simple form of touch.

Being spiritual and philosophical does not help if you can’t bring it to every day life.

I am asking you to bring in the manual gear of self-love. In three steps.




Will you?

With self love,


PS. This is the last week for the scholarship submission for the event. We have received amazing letters. If you have not told us your story please do by sending an email to [email protected] and we will receive your application. We want you there. But be prepared for this event to be a magical day of life.


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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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