Why is it that our worthiness vanishes after a loss.

It almost feels like the moment we lose someone we also lose our sense of self. 

We lose our value. 

We become smaller. 

We forget who we are. 

We become less beautiful. 

Less intelligent. Less knowing. Less worthy. Less special. 

And that is when the real loss begins. 

The loss of ourselves.

But how is that possible? How is it that when we lose someone important our identity of who we are vanishes with them. 

I sit here writing this letter to you because I also lost my self every time my life was interrupted through a break up, through the loss of my husband, through the loss of a child. Through a rejection letter from a job interview. Through friends who did not call. Through lack of self love. 

Through me. Yes me. And yes you. 

We are the ones who ultimately take away our worthiness. 

We are the ones who look in the mirror and refuse to see the beauty reflecting back at us. 

We are the ones who speak to our heart with harsh words. 

And all of this because our life detoured, pain walked in, and we got shaken to our core. 

Now imagine parts of you scattered across the Universe. 

These parts were shot straight to the big blue sky and never came back.You were left with hardly any parts. 

You got scared. Lonely. Desperate. And you started holding on to anything you could find. Just to survive the pain, and the scattered pieces that were gone forever. 

You run into small glimpses of life and grabbed it so you could make it through the day.  These glimpses were not your choice, but what you could find. 

Anything would do. 

And that is when your worthiness was no longer there. That is when youforgot that you used to have options, choices and people who love you. You forgot that you did not have to settle, or compromise. You forgot that you had a lot to offer. 

You forgot you mattered. 

Until right this moment. 

Pause for a second. Sit up straight. Breathe. And remember the time before your life was interrupted. 

Bring back yourself in snap shots. 

Almost like someone opening an old fashioned album showing you your life. Look at your hair. Your smile. Listen to your laughter. See the joy. 

All of this belongs to you. Remember the parts of you that were scattered towards the sky? Well you can rebuild them by starting to believe that the person in the pictures was created by you and not by the person you lost. And if you did it once before… you can do it again. 

Let’s take a snap shot. Yes that’s right..grab your phone or your camera.And look for the sparkle in your eyes.  And just…


You have just begun to reclaim yourself. 

With life and worthiness. 


PS. I want to see the photo of you. 🙂 [email protected]