Today is my birthday and I find no better way to start off my 52nd year by writing to you. It has been so long since I last wrote. I have missed you. There wasn’t a day that went by without thinking about you and your life. I brought you with me the last two years while I was changing my life and writing my new book Invisible Loss. I have so much to tell you. I know you too have so much to say.
Even though I am the one writing to you, to me this has always been a two way conversation.
So, how are you?
How has life been for you these past few months?
In the last two years, apart from writing my book Invisible Loss, I also went back to school and made my dream come true – to study art. Once I stepped into that world everything changed for me.
How I felt about my whole life shifted, and a lot of concepts about what it means to really live my life were validated.
We can be off by just a little bit in the choices and ways we express ourselves but that is enough to make us depressed and unfulfilled.
And I was off in my choices.
I could have been an artist long ago. I could’ve not invalidated my core need to paint because it was not a core need that was appreciated by others.
In my new book Invisible Loss I talk about who the Original Self is. The self that was here before we were told to be a certain way or shamed by others.
My Original Self is an artist, a creative. She is also very honest and direct about her thoughts, she can’t be suppressed by anyone or anything.
She needs to be in control of her schedule and freedom each and every day. She is a free spirit and when life burdened her with things she didn’t think she could control, she just pulled away and let the Survivor Self (fear based identity) take charge.
I am sharing this with you because I want to see the expression of your Original Self come through as soon as possible.
We don’t have time to waste.
Time is the most precious gift we are given. I had to walk away from all the things that I had been doing for a long time to figure out how I really wanted my life to be.
Stepping away especially from the things that worked, from the good enough, even from the great so I could really glimpse at my Original Self without influence from the life that was created without her.
Let me tell you what changed.
I no longer see myself as someone who needs to burn herself out to show my value to others.
I have no interest in pleasing other people.
I paint every day no matter what’s on my schedule.
I prioritize the people in my life that are there because they love me.
I put my body first, then everything else.
I am no longer afraid of my own success and being seen by others.
No more hiding from the world or myself.
As the date for the book release approaches I feel I can trust not only the Universe, God, my team, but myself also to deliver this to every person who wants to feel better about themselves and the choices they made in the past, especially the ones they will make going forward.
I believe in my powers, my mind, my soul and the contract I have signed for this lifetime.
To not only be of service to others, but to myself, and without the latter nothing else can happen.
I can’t help anyone if I am not helping myself.
Everything has shifted in my personal life and in my relationships not only with my husband, but with my friends too. But of course, before it did, it all got a lot harder.
You see, when you change yourself from the inside out your whole reality changes with it.
And it did.
It was for sure not pretty at first.
But when your expectations of others change, your own self worth advances, then everything turns upside down.
It makes you dizzy and overwhelmed. You question yourself for a bit but not for long.
This time you know it’s for the best and you stay the course.
The overwhelm gets better and those who can’t stick around find their way to the door.
Those who can, build on the relationship you had and it becomes even stronger.
Changing yourself puts you in the battlefield. Not changing yourself puts you in a dark room all by yourself aka The Waiting Room.
You die there.
The harsh reality is that the Waiting Room is not easier than the battlefield, it just seems more familiar so we choose it without knowing the truth.
I want you to know the truth about yourself and the choices you have to make. I wish someone talked to me like that when I was in my own waiting room and I didn’t even know it.
We don’t know each other and maybe we will never even meet in person, but we don’t need to know each other for me to look out for you.
Sometimes strangers can be better helpers.
So today, I have one question for you.
If you go and look at yourself in the mirror would you recognize yourself?
Remember who you really are?
What your needs sound like?
If not, I hope you consider a change in your life. Like I have always said, start with the small things. You don’t need an earthquake to start changing.
You just need a wink from your Original Self while you are looking at yourself in the mirror.
Here’s to that.
And I am so happy to be back with you and writing again.
In honor of my birthday I am gifting a Conversation Guide for how to have these very difficult conversations about your Invisible Losses with the people in your life. I hope you pre-order, and start your healing journey.
PRE-ORDER HERE: https://invisiblelossbook.com
With love, and a brand new book,
Christina
