It has been a year of many surprises. Both professionally and personally.
My lessons are for my own life’s journey but if they can help you too, I will share them with you. Who I was when 2021 arrived is no longer here, but lessons don’t make our lives better, happier or easier. They make our lives different. Here are the learnings the unexpected moments of 2021 gifted me with.
1. The sooner you start trusting yourself the more at peace you will feel in the long run. Stop questioning the voice inside that knows better.
2. Loneliness will be a part of your life the same way bread, water, and oxygen is. A natural component of your habitat. Unless you find what makes you come to life and wrangle it enough to be your daily companion. Life translates loneliness to solitude when we persist in seeking it. It rewards hustlers. Dare devils. Thrill seekers. Self actualizers.
3. When you have spent your life giving to others and never asking for what you need for yourself you will realize that unless you announce you need help, nobody will offer it. Unless you grab a megaphone and climb on your kitchen table and yell help me, they won’t hear it. They have been conditioned to believe you don’t need anybody’s help. Un-condition them. You need help. You always have. You always will.
4. Long term relationships will end for the greater good of your future, even though it may appear as the worst possible scenario for it. Trust the unexpectedness of your life, it has intelligence that is ancient. It has knowing that is timeless. Don’t question the ancient self that resides within you.
5. Don’t ever stop bringing up your loved ones in conversations that take place in the present moment. Include them in your life in permanent ways. It has nothing to do with your grief, or your healing. It has everything to do with love. Honor.
6. You are not here to please your parents, your relatives, or your friends.
7. Take care of your body, it will always give to you all that it has, until its last breath. It is the only place you can be yourself.
8. Postpone work. Never postpone play.
9. Make friends. Partner with people who love and engage with your mind.
10. When something feels wrong, it always is.
11. You can change your mind about the choices you made about your life.
12. Read to free yourself from anything that imprisons you. Books are gateways to other worlds. Go to them as if your life depends on it. It does.
13. Your world is as large and as small as the minds you choose to befriend, love, and interact with. Choose wisely.
14. Write down everything you think about, every day. Capturing your thoughts should be non negotiable. It can save your life. It can give you the next step. It is an invaluable daily practice.
15. Don’t lie to yourself to avoid loss. It is unavoidable.
16. Your looks are always influenced by your internal world. You look as good as you think. As kind as you are. As loving as you feel.
17. Use your life as an example of a life well lived, and let that be the gift you give to the world.
18. Pay your bills, put food on the table. But use whatever remains for adventures. The only material goods necessary are those that help you express yourself.
19. You will always be imperfect. Make the most out of those imperfections. They are meant to light up the dark sky.
20. By the end of your life you will realize you knew nothing at all. And now that you finally understand that you wish you could go back to the beginning. Rest assured that you are to begin again.
21. My favorite author Joan Didion passed away today. Honoring her life I will end this year of letters with her words. “Character, the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self-respect springs.”
Rest in love dear Joan.
I will take next week off to greet the new year so let this serve as the last letter of 2021. Thank you for being my pen pal.
May 2022 bless you from its very first day.
And let the Holidays be what they need to be for your spirit.
With many lessons,