The older I get the more I see.

I see myself for who I am.

The good. The bad. All of it.

I see life and its depths.

Maybe we shouldn’t die when we get older.

Maybe we can do another 80 years and use the seeing we have acquired for good.

I am certain that people who made the wrong choices would choose differently if they could stay here in this body with this wisdom a little longer.

Sometimes all we need is another chance. (Click to Tweet!)

Another chance to see all of ourselves, not just a partial view.

But when we are hurting we can only see life through that hurt.

All the other parts go away.

Every couple of years I write a list of all the things I know for sure.

This list changes over time because my losses and hurts change too.

When I see more of myself I see more of my world.

So today, I wanted to create an updated list of all the things I know today.

I hope these snippets of insight help you in some small way.

  1. You can change your life in an instant. You don’t need to wait it out.
  1. The controls over your life belong to you. Don’t give them to anyone else.
  1. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy.
  1. You can change who you are whenever you want to.
  1. There is an afterlife. But calling it that makes it less real.
  1. Not everything happens for a reason. But it feels good to believe that it does.
  1. Your mistakes are fixable. Don’t let anyone make you think they are not.
  1. Don’t hide your weirdness. It’s the most precious thing you got.
  1. Date whenever you feel like it after loss. Time has nothing to do with it.
  1. Grief can last forever for some people but not for all. Don’t assume everyone is in the same boat.

And when you read these if some of them don’t immediately apply to you then they don’t apply to you. You, the readers of my blog are some of the smartest people I know because you have been through so much. I want these letters to be an opening for you. Not a destination. An opening towards your own ten things. Or 20 things. Or even two things. 🙂

Here’s to your updated list. Yes, this is your homework for this week. Pretty please.


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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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