I will not conform.


Behave accordingly.

Or go along with everyone else.

I will not believe their opinions about the way life after loss should be.

That it’s supposed to always be hard. Impossible.

Nope. No, I will not.

And neither will you.

You will not go down on your knees to society’s approach to loss.

You will not surrender to their expectation of what should take place after heartbreak.

That you will be ignored.

Left behind. Uncomfortable. Lost.


It won’t be how they see you.

It will be how you want to see yourself.

How you wish to see yourself.

Your life is not theirs to have opinions on.

It is not their heartbreak that you are dealing with.

It is yours. It is your loss. Your tragedy. They must let go of you.

Let go of their grip. Their staring at you. Their judgment.

Don’t they know you are more free than they are?

Don’t they know they have everything to lose? And you have nothing.

Don’t you see their cowardness when they believe that you are broken?

Enough already.

Enough of this back and forth.

It is time that you don’t hear them.

Don’t look at them.

Even if they are still there trying to tell you what to do and how to be.

And who you now are.  

You can’t take their reality and make it yours.

Can’t you see they try to force their beliefs on you just so they are less afraid?

But your loss changed you after it broke you.

That change is more powerful than they can ever imagine. (Click to Tweet!)

Their worldview of your life after loss is not your view and I know this hurts them.

It is why they are still here trying to make you see theirs.   

Instead, you are on your way to your choices.

On your way to constructing a view of life after loss that can be inspiring to your kids, and their kids. You lead the way now and they can’t do anything but let go of their grip on you.

And you still turn around and smile at them.

But that’s when it happens.

When they see your smile, they start to believe that wherever it is you are going, it’s better than where they thought you were meant to go.

This precise moment, right here has always given me immense satisfaction.

I know it will for you too.

With immense satisfaction,


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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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One Comment

  • Holly says:

    I will not behave accordingly either!
    I simply love this ❤
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom and hope.
    You are amazing in so many ways.

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