Imagine there is a part of you that is timeless.

Completely and totally timeless.

Ancient almost.

Millions of years old.

Now imagine this part of you lives inside your body.

Inside your mind. Inside your thoughts.

You have access to it as soon as you realize its existence.

You have access to its wisdom, its knowing and its ability to help you review your life in a way that allows you to make all the right decisions for yourself.

It also helps you define what happiness is for you now.

Unfortunately, we have lost touch with this part of us.

This is what I want to talk to you about today.

There are so many things that interfere with our own definition of happiness.

For example, the people around us and how they define happy.

Our families and how they think we should be happy.

Our culture and societal expectations.

Especially after loss.

And because of all the surrounding influences we lose our ability to access the ancient part of us. We lose our knowing of ourselves.

It is like eating spaghetti and meatballs every day, but you don’t really like the meatballs.

They serve them at dinner, so you have them because you happen to be sitting at the table.

Imagine if you brought your own food and it is spaghetti without the meatballs, but with some parmesan cheese and some olive oil with oregano.

Maybe you are a vegetarian at heart and you have been forced to have meat because everyone else does.

We need to stop eating up what is being served to everyone else.

Get up from the table.

Say no to the meatballs and enjoy the dish you made for yourself. (Click to Tweet!)

This is actually really hard to do, because we want to belong to that dinner table and be like everyone else.

We don’t want to come across as different or difficult.

We quietly eat the meatballs and even convince ourselves that we enjoy them.

Let’s not do that anymore. Especially after loss. Why especially after loss?

Because we know better. We know that life is too precious to live it through someone else’s version of happiness.

Because tragic loss has made us more aware than ever before.

It has shaped us into superhuman beings with the ability to stand out, speak up and do what is right for our own selves.

I don’t want you doing anything in your life just because everyone else is.

I used the example of the meatballs because I want your brain to remember it through humor and through a metaphor of something simple that we all do sometimes.

We just say yes to having something even though we don’t want to have it.

I have personally said yes to dishes that were incredible for everyone else but not really for me. And I quieted down the timeless voice inside of me.

I ignored my own truth.

And the more we sit at the table where others serve the food, the more we forget what we would have had if we chose the menu.

Then the problem becomes twice as difficult to solve, because now we don’t even know what we would choose to eat anymore.

We don’t even have control over our own taste buds.

So today, I want to ask you this question:

Is there something that you do in your life that you don’t enjoy but you do it because all of your friends and family value it?

Do you feel like you have to be a certain way, live a certain way because it is expected by them?

With real choices,



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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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