We might never meet in person but if we did I would want you to know that you are so beautiful.

That your toughest nights are shared with me.

That your invisible losses have been seen even by one person.

That no matter how much you have been through,

no matter the terrible losses you have experienced, you have the courage to overcome them. (Click to Tweet!)

That you are worthy of all the stars in the sky.

That if I could hold your hand every day I would.

That my life is changed by you forever and ever.

And that even though I am just a stranger who lives thousands of miles away, know that I feel as close to your heart as you do.


Because our hearts hurt as one.

Because our lives have mirrored one another.

And because my darkest nights have been like yours.

If this was the last time we meet I would want you to remember hope.

Yes hope.

While we would be sitting together just across from one another, you would feel this unbelievable and immeasurable amount of hope.

It would feel like a brand new feeling inside your chest.

It would seem as if the windows in the room opened wide.

Without being able to put into words,

you would know that you too can live again after loss.

And that all the scary thoughts and painful moments will fade away one day.

If I was a fairy godmother I would ask for a magic wand that could take painful memories away.

A magic wand that would take the moment of impact away.

That moment when you hear the news of the accident.

The moment when you get the call.

The moment when the cancer wins.

The moment when he leaves.

The moment when you say goodbye.

The moment when you are ignored.

The moment when you lose your job.

You know that moment that hurts so much.

I wish I could take that one moment away.

But I know that the universe,

God, magical fairies, energy, spirit guides, angels would never grant me this wish, because they know that that moment of impact is the key ingredient to growth, true love and real change.

But even without the ability to take away the most painful moment in your life, know that I believe in your ability to make that moment count.

To make that moment change the course of your life in ways you have never imagined.

I know it is hard to believe from a total stranger you have met online,

who lives far away.

But know that throughout this letter I sat right next to you.

Right there. By your side. Just you and I.

All my love



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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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  • Pauline Scott says:

    After reading your message today it made me cry cause I still have so much pain going on inside. My world appears externally ok, yet inside I ache for my losses so much I fear the change and pain at the same time. Next week I will be starting my second round of counselling why does this hurt still continue and why for so long, that I a starting to be afraid of not being afraid. I am tired….of this feeling of guilt, pain and shame for wanting more and wanting to be fully in my new life.

  • Christina says:

    At age 50 looking back at my life so far. Recalling the good, great, drama and ugly… Time really does move on and every time I thought my road was ending – just around the corner was more and better waiting. Sometimes we have to suffer a little to remind and help us appreciate and recognize the good things. Hang in there – it gets better!

  • This is so beautiful and comforting…just what I needed tonight. Thank you. I’m working hard to get through my grief to a less painful place and this helps so much. You are such a beautiful soul, Christina.

  • Ruth says:

    I can identify all too well with everyone going through loss. I have experienced 14 years of it now, loss happening one after another. From the divorce to a husband I adored and all the ugliness the divorce entailed, to the death of each of my parents a couple of years apart, to loss of jobs, loss of homes, loss of friends, and on and on. It has taken me five years to get on with my life after the divorce, to feel like dating again, and now that I have begun online dating, my first two “interesting” men turned out to be “romance scammers” after money. One, I actually thought I was in love with! I do not have any answers, only compassion. I know the world is love and that’s all there is, yet I am losing some of my perspective, at this point. I want to love life and make a difference in the world, but I don’t know how to create what I want to do and believe my life’s mission is. I also want a good man to share life’s ups and downs with. Where is he? Thank you for the resources. I also am begining to participate in sessions with a “soul coach” and have decided to draw closer to God again. I look forward to happiness.

  • Johnny says:

    Tears fill my eyes… I am hurting so much right now. I try to be strong for everyone else yet I am all alone and without someone to love. Life has dealt me more than my fair share of pain, more than what one person should bear, but through it all I learned to trust in Jesus. I learned to trust in God. I thank God for my beautiful boys and my daughter and I realise that I’ve been truly blessed and somehow I know they carried me when I could not walk.

  • Darla Thornton says:

    Thank you for these beautiful words. Being just 25 weeks into the sudden and unexpected loss of my husband soul mate of 27 years has been agonizing. But know I depend on your words many days just to get out of bed and take care of my 7 & 11 year olds. You are a Godsend and blessing to my completely broken heart. Thank you Christina. I do know you love and understand. Many blessings on you and yours. DDT

  • Yamna says:

    I was touched by your message.. I meet online, fall inlove but just being used. Been 6months now but still on pain.. As I don’t expect love him this way. Doing my best and hoping he will love me too but all I got nothing.. It’s so much painful giving everything to have that love you’re wanting bus you will just lost it for you ate not enough..

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