It took me 42 years to figure this out.

Imagine if I had figured it out earlier, I would have had so much less rejection, pain, and grief.

Oh and lets add humiliation in the mix.

Why do we chase people who don’t want to be with us?

What is up with us?

I really don’t know how else to say this but it is almost as if we are asking for it.

And let me tell you, I am including me in this group of people. I am the worst of all.

I will ignore every signal, sign, nudge that this person or people are not interested in spending time with me, until the universe comes and hits me over the head with something so obvious and so painful that I have to run away.

Am I the only one?

And of course there is the other argument that I have told myself many times. Well If I lose weight then it will be different. Or when I am more successful then I will definitely be accepted and wanted. And guess what happens. When we drop the pounds, get the job, and do and be all the things that we thought made that person or people not want us, they still reject us.

But..but..but…how is that possible.

I am now all the things I thought kept them from liking me, loving me wanting me, and they still don’t want to be with me.

So here is the deal.

Here is where we get this completely wrong.

The people we are not meant to be with, will always reject us and turn us down.

We can never ever be good enough for them, if we were not good enough in the beginning. (Click to Tweet!)

We need to realize this and when we get a sign, a gut feeling, a nudge that this person is not for us we must look for the exit sign right there and then.

No waiting.

No doubting.

No wondering how we can make ourselves better so they see us.

You see there are so many people who actually would want to be with us, and it is possible that because we have been so obsessed with these other folks we have completely missed the ones who loved us to begin with.

Next time you get a gut feeling that someone is ignoring you or that you are not connecting with them somehow, don’t keep trying.

They could be your colleagues, your peers, your family or someone you are really attracted to. Know that it is for the best if you don’t pursue or turn your world upside down just to get their approval.

You could be the queen or the king and still be ignored and not loved.

As someone told me lately.

It is not personal. 😉

Now go and be with the people who want to be with you. Anybody else…well you know what to do. Don’t be with them.

With life,


PS. Live your life with attitude and confidence after loss. You earned it. Grab the book SECOND FIRSTS.