Have I ever told you that I used to lie to myself?

My lies to myself used to be quite grand especially when I was grieving. The list was so big that it felt like I was adding at least two new lies every day.

I lied even about going to the grocery store,

cleaning the house,

going out on a date,

being present with my girls,

hating my job and the list goes on.

But the biggest lie I would tell me was that I was a victim of my circumstances.

The more lies I said the more passive I became towards life.

But one day… by accident I think,

I started telling myself small truths.

Things like:

“Maybe I can go on a road trip with my girls, it can’t be that hard.”

“Ok maybe one date, he might not be the worst guy in the world.”

“I should apply for that job, you never know I might get it.”

Then it started happening.

Small miracles of life would come into my day.

I got the job, the date was good, the road trip rocked, the grocery store was not too far after all.

I learned that I had to stop the lying and start living in my truth.

When I did, life showed up with a big smile on her face.

I know it is not going to be easy at first.

In fact,

it will be harder in the beginning.

Harder to tell yourself the truth than lie and do nothing.

Hold on tight.

Prepare yourself for the storm.

Get ready to fight for your life.

Get ready for the most important battle.

The battle to be honest with yourself.

The battle to walk out of your comfort zone.

Opening that door is never going to come naturally.

You actually have to force your hand.

But I am going to ask you for something very important.

“Don’t over think the truth,

analyze it.

Mule it over.

And talk about it with everyone you know.

Just be honest.

When you do, you start to see yourself through your own truth and you become the rebel that you have always been.

The warrior you know you are.

The lover you promised you could be.

The doer, and the fighter.

The fighter of the truth.

Now I am not saying you might not tell yourself a white lie here and there.

Just don’t grow the list like I did.

The list of lies is a trap that holds you away from your dreams.

Now go write your list of lies, draw a line in the center and add the list of your truths.

You know which list I would go with.

With truth and some dare,


Share this post


Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

Inspiration to your inbox every Friday

Subscribe to the Life Changing Second Firsts Letters


  • Dottie says:

    How do you figure out what all your lies are when you have been lying to yourself for 50 years? Where do you begin? How do you find your voice when you dont know who’s voice it is? How do you listen when you cannot decipher the language? I have tried so many ways to listen and hear my inner voice, get still, read the mountain of books I own, turn to the Lord, yoga blah, blah blah. Bring on the comments please. God Bless

  • Linda Ward McLaughlin says:

    sinnert.I am trying to be myself but don’t know who myself is .I want to do God’s will but I don’t know how to get it.My husband and my kids get on my nerves,the medications I have been taken threw the years has caused frotal lobal dementhia.I started falling and now must use a walker .The neoroligist said I had Parkingsons syndrome due to the lac of dopamine in my brain.I stopped taking the terrible meds.I was on and am feeling alot better,but I once told the Pysc.I want a divorce,I want to sing dance and to be in love,maybe God has different plans for me but there goes the trust factor again.I need help.
    a Lori,I feel the same way you do.Where do you begin? I liked my husband but was nevetr in love with him.I grew to love him,had 3 children all the while never knowing myself.I put his and the childrens needs before my own.I was dxd with with bi-polar disorder at the age of 30 but had been depressed since highschool.I told a priest that I don’t trust anybody and he told me to trust in God.I learned the commandments but knew I was also

  • Dave says:

    Thank you for this thought-provoking blog. I believe that honesty is the mirror that shows the world who I am.

    In the past I have often lied (mostly to avoid punishment as a boy). I continued to lie as an adult in an attempt to cover up things I was ashamed of.

    Each lie meant I avoided the opportunity to grow and change – be more mature.

    This finally changed, when I found out my partner had been lying to me. In order to challenge her to be more honest, I knew I had to live an honest life too.

    Every cloud has a silver lining! I am happy to be on the road to honest living!

Leave a Reply