I caught a glimpse at you standing behind me.
I didn’t see anyone else.
Only you.
We were waiting in line to get into a concert venue.
I was alone—you were with your best friend.
We kept making eye contact.
I felt the butterflies in my stomach.
Everyone’s voices dulled.
We were surrounded by a huge crowd…but I could only hear you.
I heard your voice.
Warm, inviting, deep.
Kind.
I heard you talking, and I saw your face. We didn’t know each other.
We had never met.
But it felt like we had known each other for years.
The chemistry was electrifying.
Suddenly, we were in the concert hall.
We found each other on a black leather couch.
You sat next to me, and we started hugging.
All of a sudden, we knew each other.
I smelled your cologne.
I breathed in that familiar scent.
10 years of memories rushed through my brain and body.
I felt your arms around me.
I could physically feel them around me.
Your big, strong, solid arms.
They made me feel so safe.
So loved.
And then, I woke up.
I woke up to my reality.
I opened my eyes and looked at your side of the bed.
You weren’t there.
I got up and went into your room.
You weren’t there.
I sat on the floor where I said my final goodbyes to you.
Bum bump. Bum bump. Bum Bump.
BUM BUMP. BUMP BUMP.
BUM BUMP. BUM BUMP.
BUM BUMP BUM BUMP BUM BUMP BUM BUMP BUM BUMP.
That’s my heart.
My heart that tries so hard to beat right out of my f**king chest.
You aren’t here.
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Cyndi was 28 when the sudden loss of her husband from bacterial myocarditis changed her life forever. As a professional writer for a natural health company, she knew writing was the best outlet for her extreme grief. She started her blog, Remembering Wayne, on the couple’s 10-year dating anniversary in hopes to give her loved ones an inside look at their relationship, an idea of her grief journey, and to give other grieving widows something to relate to.
She plans on eventually turning her blog into a book in the future, and is determined to travel the world to honor her husband and find her true purpose in life. The only thing that matters to her is keeping Wayne’s spirit alive—and she’ll do anything in her power to achieve that goal.
