Today I want to tell you how beautiful you are.

How loss has not taken away your beauty.

How it has not taken away your humor.

Or your deep knowing of yourself.

And above all, it has not taken YOU away from yourself.

Even though it feels like it has.

And yes you have lost a big part of you.

I can’t lie.

But the core of you is in there.

I promise you this with all of my heart.

And I am going to show it to you.

I am going to ask you to remember yourself.

There is a place where the YOU that is still here lives.

It’s mostly in memories.

In memories of your childhood.

In memories of life just before the loss took place.

The core of yourself always shined.

It’s the thing people always noticed about you.

You know what I am talking about.

Maybe how you smiled. Or how you made people feel.

Even the way your hair was. The way you used to sing.

It’s a small thing but unique to yourself.

This small unique thing made it through.

It made it to the other side of loss.

All we have to do now is find it.

Just find it.

I am going to ask you to look at your everyday life now.

Scan your memory looking for this special part of you that you saw in your childhood memories.

Just for a few moments.

It might be fleeting as it is trying to survive.

Look for the fleeting moments when the YOU inside comes through.

Yes, all of the moments of YOU that has made it through to the other side of loss are fleeting and tiny.

And that is why we have to notice them.

One of the very first things I remember about myself was the part of me that still wanted to have adventures.

I wanted to go to places I had never been even in the midst of excruciating grief.

Even when I had to pull over in my car because the tears blinded me.

Even when I would come home from work and I would take my two little kids and we would drive around singing.

Sure I was running away… but not from myself.

I was running towards the me that made it after loss. (Click to Tweet!)

The adventurous me. She made it.

The singing along me, she made it. I always loved singing in the car.

And I know with certainty that there is a part of you that made it through the loss.

And today I am asking you to look for it.

Acknowledge it and spend time there.

You will find yourself even for a fleeting moment.

With your core intact,


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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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  • Fiona Godschalk says:

    So true!
    The hardest part is not feeling guilty to be back to “me”. I need to not look at others and what they think I should be like. My close friends know I still miss my love every day, my acquaintances have a lot to learn about healthy grief and life after death! I have to get used to being the old me without my best friend! And I don’t care if I laugh with tears in my eyes.
    This week will mark three years. Heaven is for real. I thank God for memories, adventures and a new tomorrow!

  • Susan says:

    Thank you for this post. When I first started reading it, thought that I didn’t see anything relating to me in it, then about half way down, I read the part about wanting to have adventures. That hit home, my husband and I loved travelling, and I’ve lost my travel companion, love etc etc. But, I still want to see more and do more, finding someone to do this with is hard, but I know I’d like to continue with travel. Losing him quickly and just into retirement, makes me have a sense of urgency for this, thinking we never know how long we have and will be healthy enough too.
    Thanks again, love your information.

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