Definition of Derail by Merriam-Webster
Define derail: to cause to run off the rails; to obstruct the progress of: frustrate; to upset the stability or composure of —
Define Derail at Dictionary.com
- To cause (a train, streetcar, etc.) to run off the rails of a track. 2. to cause to fail or become deflected from a purpose; reduce or delay the chances for success or development of:
Most of us have a life plan by the time we become adults. Life has its ups and downs however, and we learn quickly that things do not always go as planned. In most cases, we pick ourselves up, revise our plans, and get back on track. We learn lessons along the way and incorporate them into our new plans. We make a conscious decision to make these changes and respond to our circumstances because we have always been told, “It’s not what happens to you, as much as how you respond to it that matters most”
I have always considered myself to be a resilient and positive person. I put a lot of thought into my decisions so that I am usually content with them. I do my research, my homework, and try my best to make good decisions based on my findings.
When I was derailed by grief and loss six years ago, all of my usual coping skills vanished. I felt powerless and vulnerable. None of the tools I had used all of my life were helping. It felt like grief totally took control and I had no say in how I responded to any circumstance, any person, or anything that was happening. The depth of pain and loss, the hurt in my heart and my soul were in charge of my responses. In addition, the fatigue, and lack of energy made it difficult for me to make decisions. I felt completely like a train that derailed, and there was no getting back on track.
As a matter of fact, getting back on track can take years. At the six year mark, I indeed have made a lot of progress. My life is different and always will be. Grief and loss changed the course of my life. With the love and support of my family and friends, I am getting back on track. I am constantly adjusting to the changes and still not totally sure of what lies ahead however I now have the courage to move forward. I remain open to the possibilities and opportunities that lie ahead
Linda Andrews is a Registered Nurse. Her experience includes intensive care, pediatrics, and nephrology. She has shared end of life experiences with patients and their families. She has been there to listen and to support people who are making decisions that will end their lives.
In September of 2011, Linda Andrews lost her father and just two weeks later, her husband. During this very difficult time, she came to the realization that many people in our society have difficulty responding to grief.
Please Bring Soup is Linda’s first book. It’s intended as a gift to others who have suffered loss. She offers suggestions that help both the grievers and those who are supporting them. Through her stories and journal entries, she describes the depth of pain that comes with profound loss, as well as sharing ideas about what helps and what does not.
