It’s not a dance.

Or a musical piece.

And it’s not a walk on the beach.

It’s a bruise.

A gasp.

A torture.

I am talking about life.

Not even after loss, just life.

I think the first time I realized life was hard was when this girl at my middle school grabbed me from the monkey bars and threw me on the ground.

Nobody rushed over to help me up.

Nobody told off the girl.

Everyone kind of looked away.

My teacher called my mom to come get me earlier.

And I remember him telling her, it was nothing.

I was holding back all of my tears.

Trying to look like it was nothing.

But it was a very shameful embarrassing moment I remember very vividly.

Earlier than that I remember my kindergarten teacher pulling my hair in front of the whole class.

I wanted the earth to open up and take me in.

I can go further back or I can go forward.

Plenty of torturous shaming hard life moments where the self gets trashed, shaken and ashamed.

I know you have had moments like mine, some of you worse.

And they have all been invisible and kicked into nothingness.

But here is what I know now.

Life can be a dance but not the type you might be thinking. It’s not a disco dance. But the drumming type. (Click here to tweet!)

Drumming to the beat of the bruises the gasps, the tortures and the human spirit.

Listen to this.

Feel the rhythm and the beat.

And step into it.

This is where we belong.

And when you drum like this, nothing can defeat you.

The drum sounds like this in words. I can do anything I want

The drum feels like this in feelings. I am hurt but I will not surrender, I will never give up

The drum moves like this in actions. I am going to keep climbing against all odds.

The drum loves like this in compassion. Give yourself a break, you need it

The drum understands in gratitude. Grateful for all the falls, the pull downs and the bruises

And the drum sounds like your heartbeat. Vibrating through the universe in eternity.

Dear girl, who pulled me down from the monkey bars, I forgive you.

May you hear your drums.

And dance to it.

When you do, nobody can pull you down from the monkey bars.

With life,


P.S. Order the Where Did You Go? book here:

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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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