I want more time…time with my husband that passed away almost 3 years ago, time with my mom who recently passed away, time with my dad, time with my in-laws, time with my girls, time with family and friends.  I have so many regrets at times that I can barely breathe. I know it is the devil keeping me in the past and blocking me from moving forward. I often let that devil win and dwell in the what ifs…

I think of what I would I do if I had just a little more time.

Would I tell my husband how much I love him every day and not take that love for granted?  Would I spend more time with him? Would I pray more with him? Would I ask my mom about her younger years and seek advice from her realizing she lived many years and had lots of good advice to give?  

I realized the other day when my sister and I were going through some of mom’s things that I was probably the only one that knew about the history of where a lot of the items came from. This made me sad and overwhelmed at the responsibility I had to pass that along to the younger generation.  I remember about a year ago, my mom gave me a letter that told of her and my dad’s love story. I will treasure that forever. The story so inspired me that I wrote one of my own of how my husband I and met. I have locked it up for my daughters to have one day. I know we must learn from our past, but we cannot stay there and become so paralyzed that we cannot live in the present.  

Dear God help me to not dwell in the past, but to enjoy the present and move towards the future, and to realize I cannot change the things I have done, but I can change what I am doing now.  

I don’t want to forget the past, but to learn from it and move forward glorifying you.


Val Bryant is a mom, grandmother, sister, aunt, daughter and a widow. She says, “we often associate joy with light, but did you know there can be joy in darkness? Rewards can be found in difficult times as well when we completely lean on God”.

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One Comment

  • Laverne says:

    It will be three years August 15th that I lost my beloved husband/sweetheart/lover/best friend. That was also my beloved mother’s birthday – she passed away in 1988…. Now I’m just waiting to be with my darling again. I feel as though I will grieve forever…. Why do I have to wait so long? Why???

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