After walking next to so many of you living life after loss, I witnessed some tough truths.

Here is what I learned from you and from my own journey.

You will feel lonely even when you are with others.

You will question your values, beliefs and all the things your parents taught you.

You will be angry longer than you will be sad.

The simple routine task of taking the trash out will break your heart, because they are not there to help you.

Small talk will drive you crazy.

Your family will have to get to know you all over again.

There is a high probability that you will sell and move out of your house within the first 2 years.

Your first date with someone new will be hard.

Your career will change.

You will feel like you don’t belong anywhere.

Your food intake will vary dramatically.

People will talk about you.

Your broken heart will influence your health.

Your sleep will never be the same.

Some of the silly noises your house makes at night, will feel scary even if you heard them for years.

You will want to go out and be with people but you will choose to stay in and cry.

You will feel like you are about to break in half but you are stronger than most people.

The regular things that people complain about will make you laugh.

You will have a renewed sense of humor.

You can do the impossible because you have been through the unthinkable.

You have a tremendous amount of compassion

You are likely to do things you thought were not for you.

You will travel a lot more.

You will offend people but you won’t care.

You will lose your faith and find it again.

People will try to stop you from moving on but you won’t be stopped.

You will be wise.

The conversations you do have are deep and life changing.

You don’t waste any time.

You will be able to hear the birds in the morning.

You will make sure to see the sun rise, often.

You will find wonder in the ordinary.

You will have gratitude for the small things.

You will help others because now you know their pain.

And above all, you will inspire the people around you because of the way you live your life. (Click to Tweet!)

You are my hero,


PS. Order the Where Did You Go? book here:


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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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  • Mary Jasen says:

    Many similarities

  • Marcus johnson says:

    Wow that just sums up my life since I lost my wife September 2 2017.
    Sold our home , purchased a motor home, live with one of our kids , etc.
    God blessed me richly with my wife so now I live in gratitude because she did that so well!
    Thank you for the list, it is spot on!

  • Nikki says:

    I needed just this right now!

  • Laverne says:

    Thank you for the list – I could check most of them. I’m staying because I can’t afford to move and I can’t afford to stay, but by barely managing to stay, at least I have familiar surroundings that offer wonderful memories of my sweetheart. I don’t need anything, want anything nowadays, nothing matters anymore. My interest in cooking is no longer with me – no fun cooking for one…. Just have to get myself through each day, waiting for my sweetheart….

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