The way you are.

The way you move.



It’s only yours.

You are the only one that is YOU.

Everyone else is completely different.

Even people who have gone through the same loss as you.

They are on a different path.

Nobody grieves the way you do.

Feels the way you do.

Behaves the way you do.

I know you have been disappointed by people after your loss.

You tried to understand the behavior of others and it has not been easy.

You logically assume others will have the same basic values and beliefs you do.  

Not everything, but you know… just a few basic logical things.

Because of that, you find yourself in situations that are hard to understand.

Today I am going to ask you to consider the possibility that nobody thinks like you.


Not your children.

Not your parents.

Not your friends.

And just to make this completely clear, the way you see the world is as unique as your DNA.

I want to keep this letter short today.

Don’t look at other people’s lives comparing them to yours.

It’s like comparing apples and oranges.

Dolphins and sea turtles.

Birds and dogs.

You get the picture.

I hope I got a little smile in there too.

Thank goodness I searched for my own original thoughts after loss.

I didn’t the first 4 years and I was heading somewhere else, certainly not here with you.

The danger in not seeing your own one of a kind future is real.

Your brain wants to mirror the first easy thing it sees.

Even if it doesn’t match with who you are.

Copying and pasting are easier than writing words that have not been written before.

Don’t you copy and paste.

Start your own blank document.

It will feel difficult.

And it will be difficult to be an original.

But, when we copy and paste from other people’s lives and beliefs our inner selves cry desperately.

They know their own words might never be written.

Write your original script after loss, especially when people are forcing their predictions of your future on to you.
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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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