There is this negative vibe about new beginnings.

Instead of seeing the possibility of an amazing new life, we see more heartache and more loss.

Basically there is no optimism when it comes to starting over.  Imagine if a team lost their game and when they had to play again all they could think about was the loss of the last game.

Imagine if their coach did not say to them:

Go out there and kick ass.

Go out there and soar.

Go out there and fly.

Imagine if they didn’t believe they could win the next game.

Because they lost so many.

The history of sports would look so very different.

The 1889 Louisville Colonels held the record for the longest losing streak in official MLB history at 26 games. But they kept playing.

In the modern two-league era, the longest losing streak belongs to the 1961 Philadelphia Phillies at 23 games.

They kept playing.

In the American League, the 1988 Baltimore Orioles hold the record at 21 games.

They kept playing.

The longest ever losing streak consisting entirely of postseason games belongs to the Boston Red Sox.

They kept playing.

Until the end of the losing streak. Until these courageous and resilient people triumphed.

Do you know how many examples of triumphs after long losing streaks I can find? Many. How did these teams get back on the field?

And sports is just the beginning of showcasing human spirit and real perseverance.

Stage 4 cancer survivors who beat all the odds, did they ever say whats the point?

Did they ever say: I will lose this battle why fight?

Do you know the odds of surviving stage 4 cancer?

Less than 20% in 5 years and then it drops after that.

What about our army?

When they go to battle knowing their chances of survival are small, do they walk out on us?

They don’t. And we shouldn’t either.

Yes, life can be a long losing streak with a less than 20% chance at survival, but our human capacity allows us the chance to beat the odds.

And Second Firsts and Third Firsts, and Fourth Firsts is about getting back in the game knowing that you can lose again.

Here is what I want you to remember from this:

1. We are born so we can learn to get back up as many times as we have to. It is called evolution. 

2. Our hearts will break over and over again. And they can mend over and over again.

But our ability to reenter life after loss is what matters. @SecondFirsts (Click to Tweet!)

3. If you are still alive, living fully should be the only option.

4. Being bitter and angry towards people who keep getting up against all odds will make your losing streak longer.

5. I don’t believe in happily ever after but I believe in loving and living ever after loss.

6. We will experience many more losses before our last day on this earth. But believe that we can have happy moments again and again and again. No matter the loss. No matter the tragedy.

7. I am also fully aware that my attitude to begin again against all odds is a bit crazy and an overachieving one. But I will not take heartbreak lying down in the mud. I will rise next to the flowers and if there aren’t any, trust me I will plant some.

I will take my losing streak and fold it into a world of triumphs. I so hope you do too.


For the believers and the dreamers:

You can find the blog version of this letter here. Looking forward to the discussion. Let’s end the losing streak.

With a few triumphs!


P.S. I will be live on the Hay House Summit on Saturday, I hope you sign up and listen in.

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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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  • Ruthie Lewis says:

    Wow! Did i need to hear that!! Pretty much everyone knows that life is full of difficulties and heartbreaks. But a string of major losses is so gut wrenching and reeks with the legitimate feeling “why go on”.

    I’ve just had two weeks of being right in that place. Major loss is a major part of my life. I am a Life Coach, so I’m blessed with tools that most people don’t have to find a way to breathe again. Without going into detail, my husband of 30 yrs. left; then took his own life. Five yrs. later, I lost my daughter in a car accident 10 days before her 21st b’day.

    Two weeks ago, I became aware that my oldest son’s marriage may not make it. They have a 2yr. old daughter. My other son’s ex-girlfriend is trying to blow up his life in every way possible.

    I say all that to say – Man, am I tired of being in a major losing streak. I’ve been through every major loss and I definitely needed this perspective, Christina. It’s still not easy, but I have a job to do and I’ve got to get off the mind treadmill of rehearsing all the losses. They will always hurt; they are real and cannot be ignored, but rehearsing them makes life unbearable.

    As long as I’m breathing, there is joy to have and love to give as well as receive. So I reset my mind and heart and REENTER.

    Hugs to all who are “in a losing streak”


  • Jane says:

    Ah,yes, I am a believer too!!!

    I took some big giant leaps of faith in my process after loss…scared some friends and family too!!! Even if it didn’t turn out to be a fairy tale or happily ever after, I have gained experience, lessons, life & fearlessness to go again into the unknown! I am living, sometimes by merely ‘being’…but doing what I love and embracing each moment! I actually feel more awake than I have in my life! There is Hope!!! There is actually more than hope…We should expect Amazing!

    Put a leash on your mind. Tether it to the present moment. Tie it to the breath!

    We can always come back to the mat!! Always!!

    Bless you for your truly fabulous Inspiration:)

  • Mufy says:



    Today I have to look at failure from a whole different perspective. I have always known that I need to embrace failure but today, I have to master the art of attempted failure.
    It’s hard to think that I will go into something deliberately wanting to fail at it. I have tried to fail several times already and failed at it, I tried to be late to work but ended up being early. I thought about failing at being a good teacher but felt like it wouldn’t be fair on the students. However, there are several times I have failed at being a teacher but it was not in my hands.

    The idea of deliberating failure is to feel in control of failure as you are of success. To know that Failure is not a thing to fear but rather a thing that can be controlled.
    So my first failure is getting back on Facebook although I had planned to be off it for a while.

    And right now I am looking for something else to fail at. Any help?

    • Sandra says:

      “to know that failure is not a thing to fear but rather a thing that can be controlled” is such a great statement. Thank you for your wisdom.

  • Sandy says:

    I loved this lesson!

    I had been gaining weight during my husbands illness, and rapid death.
    I took control four months ago, weight 335 size 28.

    I have been working hard and finding it in me to live again. I worried I will never actually lose the weight. I am now in size 20 jeans.

    I have cloths in size 18, 16 & 14 surely they do not fit.
    I knew trying any of them on today would be a fail.
    I pulled out a pair of jeans, size 18 slipped them on and zipped them!
    A BIG risk of sure failure, but am smiling now.

    So I pushed it and pulled on the 16’s they do not zip, however they will! I am sure I smile at my success and loving me.

  • Janetta Hubbard says:

    Simply put – you are a blessing Christina! I’ve had so much lost in 2014 that I had stop living and was just waiting for the next person in my life to die. Day one was so powerful.
    Then day two shook me. People living are waiting for me to live again. More lost is coming but I’m living.
    Thank you so much,


  • Teresa says:

    I hate failure. I attempted to make a banana bread that my mother would eat for breakfast this morning. I sincerely doubted that she would taste it and, true to form, she opted for a for zen sausage biscuit instead. I also attempted to have a conversation in the car. I agreed with every answer that she made to every question that I asked until she finally told me to, Shut up and stop nagging her every minute of every day. Failure these days is just too easy. I also failed to hide my tears. That’s a new one and one I deliberately did. I told myself that it is okay to cry when my feelings are hurt and I didn’t pretend to hide them. real conversation stopped, eh Lady?

  • Annie says:

    Well this will be the third time I’ve tried to join the conversation…..Hopefully third time is the charm…. In the summer of 2013 I lost my knight in shining armor after an 11 month battle with brain cancer. We would have been married 31 years 4 days after his death. 8 weeks later I buried my son to a heroin overdose. He suffered from addiction for years and I’ll tell you its true that addiction is a family disease. Our family suffered horribly from this addiction and how it affects everyone. But I tell you the week before my Louie died, I felt a cold cold breeze and knew the angel of death was upon my house. I was filled with despair and I have mostly been a person of faith and hope. But I knew the angel was here not only for my husband. Folks told me I was just grieivng my husband, Louie but I tell you I was not. I have been scared by the years of turbulance. But now being alone to grieve my son is nearly impossible. But…………I took four weeks off from work, I continue to perform at my highest skill, I laugh, I cry, I go out with friends, I dance, I go to yoga, I have a therapist, I go to grief group meetings., I sold my house an dmoved to a townhouse on the acutal one year aniversay of Louies death. I have gone on vacation., I babysit my grandson (he is joy) I have dated (though I am constantly comparing) I have learned to keep most of my emotions away from family as they think that I should be doing more………Before the holiday I heard about this book……and I must admit that much is going through the motions of what I think I should be doing…Before this holiday I bought this book looking forward to making positive change in 2015. Well between a serious car accident 2 days before Christmas, being alone on my birthday (day after christmas) and having words with my other son who doesn’t want me to show any emotions of sadness at all, I feel worse than ever. Who am I kidding., I am doing all this and yet the years behind me continue to make my heart bleed. I only want my Louie to come home. I want him back so bad. Irrational I will be 60 this year but when I read the book and it talks of making changes., I cant leave my job., I’m too invested., I’ve already moved., I’ve dated., etc as I mentioned but truly what is there to really think that I can be happy ever again.

  • Jo Ann says:

    I had the best life in the world until my wonderful husband was given a pulmonary fibrosis death sentence. He refused to just give up and we had 7 years filled with fighting tooth and nail together to hold onto every possible joy. When he died 2 years ago, my life stopped too. I’ve recently begun to try to venture back into the real world, but have been feeling like a visitor from another planet. Something in today’s “message” suddenly made me see that I lost a whole life, so I’ve been trying (and failing miserably) to replace it all. I need to first strive for happy moments…the happy days will come as I begin to string the moments together.

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