You can be with as many people as possible but the you inside of you, is alone.

You experience everything as one.

Every emotion is not felt through you as a group or as a family.

Even if everyone feels the same grief or fear, it is not felt together.

The emotion doesn’t get shared.

The load can only be carried by you.

The grief can only be processed by your heart.

It is you that has to get out of your comfort zone.

No matter how much love, support, attention and care you have, you are doing this alone.

This is why I am speaking to you in this manner.

The only thing I or others can do is witness you and love you.

The you, is the only real guide of your life.

The only place you have to master.

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” Sir Edmund Hillary

With grief, it is not the loss you have to overcome but how you can command yourself through it.

How you can pick up yourself from the floor after a whole night of crying.

Find the strength to pack up their things from the closet.

Sell their car.

Get yourself to work.

You see, it is always about how YOU can do this.

Nobody else can do any of this but you.

What am I asking you to do here?

I am asking you to train yourself.

Honestly, life after loss feels like boot camp. Military style. It hurts like hell. And you have to keep going. (Click to Tweet!)

Everything is stopping you from life reentry and yet you have to scream through it all to make it.

So when they come to advice you about what to do, you look them in the eyes and smile.

Put your hand on their shoulder and say thank you but I got this.

Because you do.

It is your screams. Your tears. Your panic attacks.

It is your mountain and nobody can carry you there but your heart, your legs, your brain and your own mind.

The you inside must do it all.

I am sorry. I wish it was different.

The good news is, you are the mountain.

And you have nothing to fear.

Life after loss is under your command.

With many mountains and summits,


P.S. Hope you have found your way to the Where Did You Go? Book:

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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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