“Trust me.

I heard the most faint whisper say.

“It’s going to be ok. Do it.”

“Do what?” I responded.

“Take a chance.” the whisper said. “On yourself.”

The whisper continued as if it knew my most private thoughts.

As if it lived inside my mind, in between the struggle. The doubts. The worry.

“But how would I know if it’s the right thing?” I said and shook my head.

“You won’t.”

And I waited for it to tell me more, make me feel better. Reassure me. Convince me.

I waited a whole minute.

Nothing. No more whispers. No reassurance. No steps in between me and trusting myself.

Deep down I knew what it was asking me to do.

The first time I listened to this voice was in 2010.

It said “quit your job.”

And I did. I cried about it.

It was that painful to trust myself.

It hurt like real pain does.

I knew self trust was not an easy thing but self trust after devastating loss was even harder.

The next time the whisper spoke to me, was not easier either.

“Speak your mind,” it said. It was the same year.

And it wasn’t just once.

But to speak my mind every day.

To take a chance on me every day.

Gut wrenching.

I did it.

I started writing this letter, you are reading.

At first, I could only trust myself with one paragraph.

And for months I only wrote that one paragraph.

But after a while something started to change.

And it wasn’t the pain. But a feeling.

I started to feel different about myself.

It was as if I was changing.

The more I trusted myself the more I changed.

That one paragraph became many, then a book. And a second one coming.

People always ask me how it all started. I listened to the faint whisper asking me to trust myself. The hardest thing I ever had to do. It still is to this day. Click To Tweet

The difference is that the whisper is not a whisper anymore.

It’s a loud voice as if it comes from a megaphone. And it won’t let me be until I say “Yes”

Yes I will take this chance too. And this one. And another.

It still hurts. And it still is the hardest thing I do.

But it is supposed to make your stomach a little nauseous.

Your hands trembling. Your chest pounding.

And I know you and I can do the pounding and the trembling.

Have you forgotten the levels of it we have endured?

We are the pros. The masters of it all.

Loss makes us almost superhuman, we can endure earthquakes and tremors most people can’t.

You can recover from the pounding the self trust will bring. I know you can.

So…what will you trust yourself with TODAY?

 

With pounding, trembling and self trust,

Christina

P.S. COME AWAY WITH ME: https://lifereentry.com/the-life-reentry-weekend/