Most Recent Letters

BlogMessage In A BottleThe First Year

The Ten Things I Know for Sure

The older I get the more I see. I see myself for who I am. The good. The bad. All of it. I see life and its depths. Maybe we shouldn’t die when we get older. Maybe we can do another 80 years and use the seeing we have acquired for good. I am certain that people who made the wrong choices would choose differently…
Christina
March 31, 2017
BlogMessage In A BottleThe First Year

I Will Not Behave Accordingly

I will not conform. Comply. Behave accordingly. Or go along with everyone else. I will not believe their opinions about the way life after loss should be. That it’s supposed to always be hard. Impossible. Nope. No, I will not. And neither will you. You will not go down on your knees to society’s approach to loss. You will not surrender to their expectation of…
Christina
March 24, 2017
BlogMessage In A BottleThe First Year

Stay in…and Cry

Something just doesn’t feel right. You don’t want to go outside. Talk to friends. Clean your kitchen. Hang your clothes up. Shower even. You just want to do nothing. Don’t resist that feeling. No matter what expectations await you. No matter the responsibilities. The promises. The job. The kids. The laundry. Listen. Take the day off. Find a way to stay home. And be with…
Christina
March 17, 2017
The First YearBlogMessage In A Bottle

The Hurricane That Lives Inside

Over the years I dealt with anger after loss in many different ways and continue to do so. What I didn’t realize until today is that I have developed a pretty detailed way to deal with it. Someone from my Life Starters community asked me about anger today. What do we do with it? How do we deal with anger after loss? I never really…
Christina
March 10, 2017
BlogMessage In A BottleThe First Year

The Load

I read Lou Holtz’s words the other day. “It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.” (Click to Tweet!) I understood he knew a truth that so many of us don’t. The load is not what hurts but how we carry it over the years. What we do with the load. How we move the load. How we heal…
Christina
March 3, 2017
BlogMessage In A BottleThe First Year

Grief’s Grenades

I wish I had better news about what happens to our mind after loss. I wish I could say that when grief destroys everything the brain rejuvenates automatically. But the destruction grief causes our brain doesn’t go away on its own. Our brain does not bounce back and evolve without our help. My brain was a battlefield for many years after loss. It was scared,…
Christina
February 24, 2017
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