You Have To Stop Fixing What Cannot Be Fixed

It comes like a tsunami. It forces itself inside your house. With madness. You run out your front door. When the tsunami ends, your house is destroyed. Your things don’t look like your things anymore. Your bed is not in your bedroom. Your kitchen has no food that can be eaten. You sit and cry on the floor. You say to yourself I can make this work. This is better than trying to find a…

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The Sea Is Empty of You

I wish I could go back. Back to the beach, laughing like drunk fools getting lost in your eyes holding each other as if we were immortal. Like the sea always is mimicking the waves, buzzing with love, mesmerized. The sunset flaming over us, luminous, against your young skin. Stepping on the sand, earth mingling, loving that moment you were here breathing the same air, living all there…

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The Boxing Ring

Some days it’s like your life is inside a boxing ring. You are being thrown around. You can’t get out, or look like you are in pain. Nobody knows what this really feels like. They think you can handle it. But deep down you are hurting. Fantasizing that you are crawling out of the ring. Hiding somewhere so life can’t find you, and throw you around. How long can you stay? Taking the punches.…

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How To Take Off Your Clothes And Claim Your Destiny

All of a sudden, I found myself in a place without the paralyzing fear I had been feeling. It was like oxygen in my lungs. Euphoria. Ecstasy even. Imagine life without fear. Even just imagining this, brings you to a deep breath. Yes. At first it was truly a surprising feeling but I was enjoying it. And spending my days in this place had been awesome. But as you know by now, I love to…

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The Guide To Being Outrageous Before, After And While Grieving

I have to tell you. I am getting too used to living outside the box. With the minority. From outside the mainstream. From the corner of the universe. As a matter of fact, it is kind of fun to say outrageous things. Shock your friends and family members. I am enjoying this. More than I ever thought I would. Imagine discovering that living outside the box is more fun than inside of it. Oh,…

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All the things that Mary Poppins is teaching us

I saw Mary Poppins Returns movie trailer appearing every day as I was getting ready for the release of Where Did You Go? But I never put the two together. How could have I known? How could I have foreseen such a thing? That they were not only being released at the exact same time, but that people from all over the world would write to tell me how many parallels they have been finding between…

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How to Wake Up your Dragon in 2019

You have to have a strong sense of self. A clear picture of who you are, what you stand for. What it is you believe in. You have to be tree-like, like the trees with huge trunks, that can’t be destroyed in bad weather. You must claim your place in the world, and not be shaken or fallen. Did you know that the world’s oldest tree is in Sweden and it is nearly 10,000 years old? The oldest tree has…

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Be rebellious today

The holiday season is not for the faint of heart. Not for the bereaved. Not for the heartbroken. Not for those who lost the people they celebrated with. Millions of people spend the holiday season sobbing. Millions spend it making rebellious new traditions. Millions spend it with new friends. New loves. New beginnings. But even those, those who boldly go forward they will find a moment, to sob.…

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The 10 surprising things I learned about LIFE from visiting the AFTERLIFE

When my husband died in 2006, I discovered that the distance between life and death was very short. It became very clear that we are here one moment and gone the next. Death is immediate. I may even go as far as to say that death is not inside our linear time. If you blink you would miss death. It comes and it takes us outside of this reality, and moves us into a place outside of a linear…

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You are Here to Love Many Times

I know you feel alone. I know you ask the question will I ever love again? Our lives after loss can almost feel foreign. We got stripped away from all that made us who we are. And we go home every night alone. The lights are off. The house unchanged. You can’t escape what happened here. You travel back to the loss and forward to what can no longer be. A lonely time traveler. But it is not…

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