This Is Not About A Friday Night Drink With A Complete Stranger

I haven’t written much about dating after loss.  Not because I don’t have a lot to say, but because my conversation with you has always been deeper.  More about the complexity of our thoughts and our new identities.  But maybe, we can have a deep conversation about dating also.  And maybe, it’s necessary that dating after loss be a deeper experience than it is. No wonder dating apps don’t align…

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All The Things That Were Meant To Be

I have a very specific vision of myself. Quietly residing inside my mind.  Comparing itself with the current reality I live in, every day.  It narrates all day long. And it keeps pointing me in her direction.  It used to sound like a broken record.  I would ignore it, until recently.  I realized it was my destiny.  You know what I mean.  The voice inside of you that tells you, it’s meant to be…

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You Can Escape Every Prison

I wish we could all run away.  Free. From everything.  When I think of that, I imagine valleys with green grass.  Sun shining.  And us, running.  With our arms extended out our sides.  Like we did when we were kids.  When we tasted the freedom we can’t remember.  But our souls have never forgotten.  This is how we know when we find ourselves inside a prison.  Our young DNA had tasted open spaces.…

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On Vacation In The UK

I am in the UK on vacation with my family so there won’t be a letter today but just a short message to say have a great week and be good to yourself. And...I will leave you with a short excerpt of my latest book Where Did You Go?  Just in case it hasn’t found its way to you yet. “I wrote this book to find the truth about death. Instead, I found the meaning of life. In my pursuit of finding what…

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Grief’s Gravity

The more awakened you are, the more lonely you feel.  And since grief awakens us, it becomes a lonely experience by default.  The key is to continue to wake up regardless of the isolation you feel.  Regardless of the radical self you are becoming.  Yes, radical.  New and different from the usual.  When one awakens, one becomes anew.  Being awakened is not necessarily better.  Grief bridges you…

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The 13 Year Journey To Blue Waters

I love people more now than I did before he died.  I love people with nothing.  People who lost everything.  This Sunday it will be Bjarne’s 13 year death anniversary.  I have spent the last 13 years trying to love myself again.  It was harder than expected.  At first I had to start loving others who also lost a lot.  I had to start with loving you.  Compassion for you allowed me to have…

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I Am The Girl Who Was Always Behind

I look for signs of my destiny in my childhood sometimes.  I can’t find any.  Not even a small tiny memory that could indicate the future.  “You must have always been a writer,” people say to me.   And the answer is always, no.  Not only was I not a writer, I didn’t even learn to write and speak English until I was a young adult.  The chances of me getting published were close to zero.  I grew up…

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Find A Way To Write From The Moon

I know this letter matters.  To the person who reads it while sitting alone on the floor.  In bed.  Standing in front of the kitchen sink.  Feeling brutally unseen.  Stuck in a timeless non-validating nature of their life.  I write this for you.  I don’t really care for the person who has been loved by many.  Who lives comfortably and laughs out loud while on the phone with their best friend.  I…

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A Glass Of Malbec And A Piece Of Cheese In My Hand

Last night I cooked a meal with my girls. We did the whole recipe.  You know, found a recipe, went to the grocery store, got all the ingredients and then spent hours cooking and baking.  I also got myself a glass of wine while I was cooking.  Had a piece of cheese.  And it hit me.  Of course I knew what I am about to tell you for some time now, but last night it hit me differently.  Grief took…

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The Three Green Buckets

It is one of the hardest things to do. It took me three years to do it. If it wasn’t for my moving from my house at the time, it may have taken me a lot longer or maybe never. How do we let go of all the personal belongings and clothing of our loved ones who are no longer in this physical world. For the first few weeks I would go in the closet and smell his clothes. After a while they didn’t…

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