Who you become while you suffer a loss, is imperfect.  The personality that comes through when you are grieving will make plenty of mistakes.  It will have an ego.  A brutality in your words. A mean streak in your exchanges.  A hatred of your circumstances.  A self dance that hurts in every move.  It is a cruel timeline.  During the time the loss is taking…

Sometimes, witnessing everyone else’s life can confuse the witnessing of our own.   It can distort our view of our wants and needs.  Observing someone else’s ways can influence ours.  This can be rather alarming, especially when we are not even aware that we have grandfathered someone else’s choices.  How did that happen?  Here is how.  We don’t live in isolation.  We are immersed in other…

I don’t think others know.  They can’t see the depth.  The vastness.  It is the shock we feel when we visit the Grand Canyon for the first time.  You can’t imagine it unless you see it.  Grief is the same way.  Words. Photos.  Can’t even begin to describe how big it is.  You and I carry the Grand Canyon inside of us.  It is born…

It is the future that we are afraid of the most, when someone we love dies.  We are afraid of tomorrow.  Tomorrow becomes the most scary monster of all.  You see, grief owns a big mansion inside your tomorrow.  She has three pool houses.  A few gardeners, boats and fancy cars. And is sending you invitations to her big house every day.  She has this…

Let me start by saying the list below is not what you would expect.  I am not a conventional grief expert.  I wrote both of my books Second Firsts and Where Did You Go? seeking to find a voice that resonated with my kind of broken heart.  The kind that needed answers. And a plan.  I could not relate to the words that were shared…

I know you want to believe in a better decade.  One that won’t break your heart.  One that will only bring you joy and love.  One that will redefine you.  Bring you good people who understand you.  Possibly a new love or two.  Money. Luck. And less grief.  I want all of this too.  But what if there was a different way to look at…