I was dreaming last night that I was writing to you. I could see the words, the sentences being written.  But, I woke up this morning and I could not remember what I wrote to you.  I know it had to do with how our world is right now.  It had to do with giving you strength.  I was asking you how you were doing. …

I wake around 5:30am every morning.  Sometimes earlier.  It feels calm that early.  As if nothing is wrong.  Silence feels like a blanket.  As time goes by, I start hearing the birds chirping.  We have some Blue Jays, Cardinals, and Red-Bellied Woodpeckers in our backyard.  They sing to each other every morning as if nothing is wrong.  And when the sun is rising, they sing…

When we were born, we should have been taught about ourselves.  Our parents should have asked ‘who are you?’ before they asked, “is this your mommy?” Or ‘is this your daddy?” It should have been ‘is this you?’ while placing us in front of a mirror.  Then as our bodies grew just a little, they should have helped us crawl towards that mirror every day. …

I am finally understanding why blanket statements such as grief lasts forever are hurtful.  These statements hijack the truth of what it really means to grieve.  What really happens to us when we grieve for years? What changes in our brain? In our immune system. In our heart.  Who do we become?  When amateurs say that grief lasts forever and how we never recover from…

I wonder, are we born people pleasers?  Or do we become them later on, trying to avoid pain.  Pain of any kind. Disappointment.  Being ignored by a friend.  Maybe we sacrifice our lives so we can be seen for brief moments.  When we bend over backwards for someone who doesn’t really care for us.  We unbridge ourselves from our own authority, while bridging to someone…

I struggle when people unexpectedly put things on my plate.  Balancing my own daily chores is more than enough.  When one more thing is added to that plate, it can derail me.  It can even take me down to a dark world.  I used to judge myself when I felt like I could not handle things.  I should be able to handle more.  After all,…