I wonder, are we born people pleasers?
Or do we become them later on, trying to avoid pain.
Pain of any kind. Disappointment.
Being ignored by a friend.
Maybe we sacrifice our lives so we can be seen for brief moments.
When we bend over backwards for someone who doesn’t really care for us.
We unbridge ourselves from our own authority, while bridging to someone else’s.
Reaching desperately towards those who are not seeing us.
Clearly the words people pleasing do not define the painful interaction that takes place between two people.
It does not showcase the sacrifice.
The multitude of loss.
When we please others to avoid disappointment, we enslave ourselves.
We lose sight of what we want.
As the focus moves to others the question changes from ‘what do I want,’ to ‘what do they want?’
And we repeat that for decades.
I bet some people haven’t asked themselves the question ‘what do I want’ for many years. Some, maybe never.
When the first intention is to please someone else you delete your own wishes.
One day it will be as if you never mattered.
I wrote the following words a few years ago and they have helped many people prioritize their own lives.
“The truth is, the beginning we don’t remember, the end we never see.
We die in the midst of running errands and pleasing other people.
One day we will just not be here.
And if that doesn’t motivate us, I don’t know what will.”
Do not unbridge yourself from your authority.
It is the seeing of yourself through your own eyes that matters the most. (Click to tweet!)
Others can only see you when you can see yourself.
People pleasing blinds others to your existence.
You make them forget, you are here too.
And just in case anyone is confusing the difference between pleasing other people vs giving to people, I want you to know that these two are complete opposites.
Pleasing others comes from what we don’t have.
Giving to others comes from who we are.
And the only way to give to others is by giving to ourselves.
We can only be seen by seeing ourselves.
And one last thing.
If you meet someone who is trying to please you.
Stop them from the sacrifice.
Unbridge their bridge attached to you.
Hold their hands, look them in the eyes and tell them what I just told you.
Save their life.
Help them not delete who they are.
With life,
Christina
P.S. If you are reading books I hope you have Second Firsts and Where Did You Go? By your side. If you are listening to podcasts I hope you take Dear Life with you every morning.
