Have I been Faithful To Myself?

I was interviewing Dr. Parker J. Palmer, an extraordinary poet, writer, change maker. 

And in the middle of the interview, he asked me if I was faithful to my gift. 

My eyes must have widened quite a bit. 

My brain repeated. 

Faithful to my gift? 

How would that look like?

I thought about us in that moment in time. 

About all of us. 

Everyone. 

How faithful are we to ourselves? 

I mean, have you ever thought about asking yourself this question? 

When you are in a conversation. 

In a relationship. At work. 

Every place in your life. 

Do you stay true to your specialness? 

Faithful to your gifts. 

Or do you drop yourself on the floor while trying to hold someone else up? 

Are we cheating on ourselves? 

Oh my world. What a question. 

One I had never asked myself, and why it stopped me in my tracks. 

I saw the thousands of times when I cheated on my gifts. 

And chose someone else’s. 

The times when I rejected myself while choosing another. 

What an abandonment. 

What a neglect of self to be unfaithful to the specialness of me. 

I went to bed last night thinking about this. 

Have I been faithful? 

To me. 

Have you?

Been faithful to yourself. 

 

With unfaithful moments,

Christina