It is ok if some things that are meant to be easy, feel hard to do.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
If something feels hard, it is hard.
Someone else’s experience with it, can’t change yours.
This goes for everything.
Including grief.
Including Christmas.
The Holiday Season makes some people happy and others sad.
Hearing Christmas Carols can make one man weep and another cheer.
It all has to do with the kind of losses you have had.
The kind of loves you have experienced.
And the childhood you remember having.
It has to do with the history of your life.
The stories you were told and the stories you remember being told.
I have a strange relationship with the holiday season.
I broke up with it completely for a few years then I decided to date the Holidays again and I found its season bitter sweet.
It never felt as wonderfully dreamy as before. I could never just let go in it.
Be a part of the festivities with my full heart.
Indulge in the lights and the songs.
It feels like going back to an old relationship trying my best to feel its glory days.
It never delivers.
So now, well now I arrive each year here doing my best.
I laugh. I cry. I dress up. I put up the trees. I sing the songs.
I buy the gifts. I surrender to it. Just like a ride on an old roller coaster.
It is good enough but not the highlight.
And certainly not the big hit that it used to be in the good old days.
As this next week is approaching remember to make it whatever it needs to be for you and for your life.
Your version is the only version that matters.
With holiday musings,
Christina
PS. And I hope my books Second Firsts and Where Did You Go? find you during these next two weeks.
Christina, many losses have occurred and this year is no different. I find your musings current, past and altogether impactful and soothing.
This year brings a financial loss that makes me think too deeply, to all the years I overlooked the never-received thank yous from great-neices and nephews and although somewhat begrudgingly, have decided not to send the possibly-not-appreciated gifts. Maybe they won’t even notice. This may be the wrong thing to do or hurt feelings and maybe it’ll lead to a hurdle I’ll have to contend with next year. Anyway, thank you for your writings.