Maybe I will stay inside the ups and downs.
The highs and lows.
After all, the roller coaster makes you a good writer.
Did you know?
It makes you brave.
It makes your hair look crazy too. 🙂
Your heart beats as if there are two hearts inside of you.
You don’t have time for any kind of small talk.
And you hold on tight.
No drama.
Just lots of back and forth between low and high.
Between grief and love.
Yes and no.
Risk and safety.
But that is when so many people leave the roller coaster.
They are done with it all.
The highs are not worth the lows.
Love is not worth the grief.
Having two heartbeats instead of one takes its toll.
But for those of us who stay, find themselves in the most beautiful skies.
Flying in and out of clouds.
Breathing in the crisp air.
And yes finding ourselves inside the very low places too.
When there, we check in with our soul.
Learn. Process. Feel. And write.
Oh the writing from the lows is magnificent.
I am writing you from there today.
Just experienced rejection back to back.
Basically double low.
Low. Low.
Loss. Loss.
Rejection. Rejection.
When the roller coaster stays down low for longer than normal the heartbeats also slow down, almost as if they are gone.
You find yourself inside the low but also inside the silence.
And when there is only one low and not a double one, the silence doesn’t have time to arrive. Inside the silence you have a chance to find yourself.
You see, you can’t find yourself inside the highs. It’s too wild.
Your mind is too busy thinking about the greatness of the high.
Everyone is cheering you.
And you may even forget your humility. Your mortality.
And your high risk of loss.
Who would I ever be without my roller coaster?
Certainly not a writer.
Not a helper.
I think I would have good hair though. 🙂
And I would fit in.
Fitting in is not part of our life after loss. Tragedy makes us stand out, whether we like it or not. (Click Here to Tweet!)
With love to all of my roller coaster riders,
Christina
P.S. Order the Where Did You Go? book here:Â https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-You-Go-Life-Changing/dp/0062689622
