It is in the gathering of our family and friends that we see ourselves.

It is at the dinner table and the get togethers that we realize we are not alike.

It is then, when you learn the most about yourself.

You learn that you have changed.

You observe that you are not as alike as you used to be.

This seeing does not have to be painful.

Expect to see more of what has changed in you when others are around.

The seeing is mostly a good thing.

You get to see your own progress.

Your own journey beyond theirs.

You are leaving some folks behind.

Maybe not in physical terms, but in emotional ones.

In terms of your personal connection.

In other words, when you are gathering at the dinner table this Thanksgiving week, know you are alright.

Your discomfort and your lack of connection with the people you have known all of your life is not because you have done or said something wrong.

It is a natural part of this journey after loss.

But you must not confuse loss of connection for your family and friends with loss of love for them.

You will always love them.

But not always feel the connection you need as you are traveling to the new life, the new chapter.

In many ways, you have to be the one who is aware of not only your truth, but theirs.

They are losing the person they used to know.

The person you were before your loss.

Let them know that the love will always be there.

And hopefully one day, the connection too.

The current loss of connection with your family and friends does not mean there is no love there. But your needs and your wants have changed, to say it simply.

As you are about to have your Thanksgiving dinner, remember that you are not the same person you were this time last year, sitting at the table. (Click to Tweet!)

You will notice it. They will notice it.

And possibly nobody will say anything.

Be ok with that.

Exiting the old life can at times be a silent painful experience.

Because of the loss of connection you had with some of the people in your life.

Let this letter take the place of the quiet so you can hear what is taking place.

And then let it take some of the pain.

Not all of it. But some.

The part of the pain that comes from not understanding what is taking place.

For those of you who live in the United States have a meaningful and knowing Thanksgiving.

With connecting and reconnecting,


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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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