You enter the world of loss and no one tells you what is about to happen.
No one tells you that your external world does not automatically change with your internal loss. The new life you are about to experience actually takes place within at first.
Because externally you wear the same clothes, you see the same face in the mirror, your home is still standing and the birds are still singing outside.
When everything externally looks the same and everything internally has changed that is when you break.
You break in half.
It is like you wake up from a nightmare but it still continues when you are awake.
Everything you have ever been taught did not include the duality of loss.
The physical external world is telling you to go on as if nothing really has changed and the non-physical internal world is telling you that everything is lost and you can never be happy again.
Who is telling the truth?
The internal or the external.
Unfortunately neither. So here is what you should have been told before you went into crisis mode.
You just experienced a loss that is going to impact your heart, your mind and your soul. Everyone else around you, will not be able to feel the loss you are feeling and they will not know how long you will be crying tears that only roll within.
It is not their fault, as they do not see the devastation you are experiencing.
So this is what you need to prepared for…the world you see in front of you is no longer REAL.
It is still manifesting in the same way as before the loss, because change will have to start taking place inside you first, before you can change the outside. People will come and go, bringing food and asking what they can do to help. They are all there to serve the external because that is the only thing they can see.
But you no longer live there.
You are closing in.
You are already starting to become isolated because you start to realize that what you feel and what stands in front of you does not match.
What you are about to be told next is what will make all the difference.
When you are experiencing the isolation from your environment, don’t let it take over.
Start changing it immediately.
Move chairs around.
Move the bed where it has never been.
Paint the walls.
Get in the car and drive somewhere you have never been before.
Start changing your world in the speed of the change that takes place within.
Keep plugging in.
Keep the two parts of you together.
And that is how you will not break.
You are the maestro of your new life.
The more you try to keep the duality of loss as a single experience the less you will break and the less time it will take you to start building the new life.
And grief looses its powers faster..
Christina
