Oranges and Fried Eggs

In the last few months I experienced one of my most significant Life Reentries to date. 

I taught myself self care for the first time. 

It started with exercise, then it moved to food choices, to my work, my routine, and it landed me on my childhood dream.

This journey had many blind spots and I could only see a couple of days ahead. 

I was patient with the not knowing, patient with the slowness of this type of reentry especially when my body was changing. 

There was no deprivation. 

No rules or diets. 

Just nourishment. 

There were no hard core workouts, just fun ones. 

And that is when the deeper reentry started to take place. 

Once I prioritized myself consistently for a few weeks something prompted me to question other parts of my life. 

I realized that I always overworked, over pleased, over delivered. 

But not to myself. 

I did as a mother to my children, as a caregiver to my first husband, as a teacher to my community, as a writer to my readers, as a human to other humans. 

I wondered, what would it look like if I gave to myself the kind of giving I had given to others. So I started doing just that. 

The first thing I had to give to myself was time. 

Once I did that all of a sudden I gave myself a whole list of things. 

I gave myself an orange a day. 

I love oranges, and I had stopped eating them because I was so worried about the sugar in them. 

I gave myself pizza. 

If my family was having pizza I had pizza too. 

Before, I would be the one not eating the delicious pizza that everyone else was having. 

I gave myself fried eggs. 

Oh my world, why did I not have fried eggs before. 

I now eat them every day with two slices of toast. 

While giving myself permission to eat all the things I loved I also got smaller. 

Much smaller. 

I gave myself a brand new shampoo. 

The kind that smells like you are getting your hair done at a hair salon. 

I gave myself a pair of shorts. 

The kind that I hadn’t worn in years. 

A two piece bathing suit. Dare I say a bikini? 

I gave myself time to read fiction. 

Time to go and sleep under the stars in the middle of nowhere. 

I gave myself the outdoors. 

And then one day I gave myself time to study art. 

Late in the evenings. Where I forget it is 2:00am and I have been sitting there for hours drawing myself inside another life. 

I want you to know that oranges and fried eggs have magical powers. 

They ignite reentries and can make your dreams come true. 

They can start a revolution. 

They can give you your life back. 

But you have to be willing to give yourself the time to start. 

To move. To taste. To indulge. 

To not deprive yourself. 

To not abandon your own comfort and care. 

And then get ready for the ride of your life. 

 

With no regrets,

Christina