I don’t know exactly when it started to happen.

But there was a moment in time when things shifted towards more happiness than hopelessness.

More joy than resistance.

More cheer than angst.

More present than past.

But It took me a decade to get there.

Yes ten whole years.

That’s 3,652  days.

That’s 87,658 hours.

For every one of those days and hours I became my own best friend.

I talked myself out of staying in the waiting room.

I talked myself out of thinking of myself as a victim, as widow, as weak, as alone, as abandoned, as unworthy, forgotten, lost.

And told myself that I had something special inside of me.

I was the underdog. I was the woman who could… and that I could keep going.

I was kind to myself.

At night when the world would reject me, I would accept me.

When every day I found closed doors, every night I assured myself that the door keepers were mistaken.

When I felt unloved, I found a way to love myself.

When I wanted to hide, I slowed myself down and only took tiny steps until I could do more.

So I started to be ok with who I was, how I climbed, how unsocial or social I was, how loving or unloving I was and what made me or didn’t make me happy.

I finally started looking for my own definition of good, my own definition of happy.

When I started being ok with my own kind of happy everything became better.

I didn’t resist myself anymore.

I didn’t feel as much guilt.

I didn’t have shame.

I embraced the uniqueness of my life after loss.

Who I had become.

And that got me out of hopelessness.

I became my own best friend.

And I gave to myself what the world was not ready to give me.

Worthiness. (Click to tweet!)

Today, I am asking you to start giving to yourself.

When you go to bed tonight and think about all the bad things that happened in your day be kind to yourself.

Tell yourself that you are worthy of a million stars, of the brightest moon and of a million open doors.

Because you are.

With love,

Christina

PS. And keep going on your journeys with WHERE DID YOU GO?

 

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Christina

Christina

Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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2 Comments

  • Gathu R. says:

    Thanks a lot Christina. Your an angel of mercy that l needed when l wasn’t at my best. You’re doing a great job! Please Keep them coming.

    With much appreciation, from Kenya.

  • Debadora says:

    Oh wow. This was right on. It will soon be five years and I am on this journey. There is a rumbling of discontentment with what I thought was my happiness after his death. I need to be kinder to me for sure. Losing my purpose has been difficult. Being much older presents a more critical time for defining what makes you worthy. Its not a world for respecting the elderly and that adds to the unhappiness factor when the world forgets you. But I know I am on the right path. Thank you for the book and these words.

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